You’ve not doubt heard the saying “Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.” You could say that I live by this particular motto in my preparedness efforts. However, today I’m going to discuss with you a topic that I have never seen addressed in a preparedness venue—preparing for THE worst. What is the “the worst?”
More than 200,000 American women every year—in a time of relative calm, comfort, and civil order—are raped. Yet, in every crisis scenario which has EVER occurred in our nation’s history in the last 70 years—such as hurricanes, earthquakes, financial collapse, etc—the numbers of rape reports increase substantially amidst the darkness of tragedy. So, my question for you today is, what are you doing now to PREPARE to defend against THE Worst in your everyday life as well as during a time of great struggle?
Rape is a disgusting and horrifying crime, and to most women, their greatest nightmare. The very thought of the word repulses most. According to FBI records, more than 90,000 attacks are reported every year in the U.S. That number pales in comparison to what’s really happening. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that more than 300,000 women are forced to survive a rape each year. But according to other studies, less than one in three women reports their real-life nightmare to police or other authorities. As such it is believed that one in five women in the U.S. today, under the age of 26 will be raped. I share this tidbit of information to you only for the purpose of getting you, my dear readers, to begin to comprehend the reality of this dark side of human tragedy because only when we understand the reality of this particular criminal event can we begin to prepare against it—in defense of it.
It pains me to even feel like I have to address this topic. But over the last 2 years I’ve had several conversations with women, their husbands, their children etc. which lead me to believe that there is an alarming amount of naïveté among good families who are trying their best to prepare for tougher times. Let’s get real here for just a moment, even if you don’t believe that this horrific event can happen to yourself or someone you love dearly right now, you must believe it is possible amidst a more challenging time. Yes, desperation breeds horrors—horrors that most women never want to think about. Do you recall the litany of nightmare stories which occurred during hurricane Katrina? The single location of the Louisiana Superdome became a carnival land for deranged and disconnected males, committing rape against women, elderly, and even children as young as 10 years of age. Later, as refugees migrated to the Houston Astrodome, the same grotesque acts occurred, along with beatings, theft, and other acts in defiance of human decency. Clearly, we don’t live in Disneyland, Folks, and it certainly will NOT get better during a crisis. It WILL get worse. So, what are you doing to prepare for it?
Ladies, we’ve got to stop assuming that someone else will be there to defend us against such an act. For those of us who feel sufficiently connected to a knight in shining armor, understand that during a time of crisis that knight is likely to be off fighting known dragons elsewhere in the form of filling sand bags, foraging for food, being a sentinel to a larger perimeter. Even the imaginative minds of cartoon crime fighters have never tried to create a super hero that could be in all places at all times, so why do so many of my female and MALE friends believe that they will “be there” to defend against such a horrific occasion? The possibility of your husband, boyfriend, father, or some other protector being present at “just the right time” when such an attack is thrust upon you is minimal even in today’s relative social climate. It is much less likely in a strained social environment. As such, women (young and old) must educate themselves (mentally and physically) as to how to defend and PREVENT such instances. No nonsense mental and physical education such as that taught by Women of Caliber, is critical to your everyday survival.
Ladies, rape is not just a brutal sexual act that you bravely endure, nor is it just about the physical assault that usually goes hand in hand. If you are lucky enough to physically survive such an event you will find yourself fighting an even darker enemy in the subsequent months and years. Victims of rape also find themselves continually abused by the psychological aftermath. Many woman survive the physical assault only to have their quality of life destroyed because of the emotional damage. Worse, is when these same women are raped who also are raising children. Insecurity, fear, anger, and even self-loathing are often the “after shocks” which destroy the virtuous legacy a mother desired to pass on to her children. A mother’s projection of the pain she’s endured will inevitably affect her children if she doesn’t receive proper care following her attack. And yet such care is not likely to exist in a time of great turmoil. So, me dear readers, we all have a choice to make. Will we prevent such an act from even coming into play in either ours or our loved one’s life, or will we risk “just crossing that bridge when we come to it” or deny that it even exists?
Gentlemen,—particularly those who have an aversion towards tools of “excessive force” and protection—are you willing to risk that such an event will never happen to your wives, daughters, or other loved ones so that you can remain inside your comfort zone? Most men do not want to even consider that such an event would ever happen to the women they care about—let alone whether or not they will be capable of coming to the rescue. As a result, too many men are ill-prepared in their own preparedness efforts against this dark story of society. Sadly, some are even non-supportive of their wives’ efforts to take their own self-defense more seriously. I assure everyone who reads this that whatever comfort you have now by avoiding such a reality in your own immediate circle of relationships or more extended, will be insignificant the instant you painfully exclaim, “If only!”
The rampant criminal acts that took place during the Depression were not associated with obtaining food, money, or other vital need. In an unsure world, deviant persons are likely to engage in ANY kind of an act which makes them feel like they are in control again. This is why rape becomes so prevalent in a scenario of social tragedy. Ultimately, rape is about control. This is why you hear of these same horrid acts in present-day Rwanda, Zimbabwe, Haiti, and S. Africa. These nations are out of control. Many of their mealtimes are full of nothing but desperation. Dark souls are being driven to establish some semblance of control into their lives.
Please understand that rape is not a crime of strangers. Sixty-four percent of the time the woman is raped by a trusted companion! That’s a particularly dangerous problem because the ripple effect brutalizes them once again at close range. Compounding the problem is that the woman frequently has deep emotional feelings and even sincere love for the attacker so the crime is never reported, opting instead to give the perpetrator another chance, allowing the nightmare to continue. The survivor sits alone in silence, darkness, and fear…unless…
What if women, in particular, stopped relying on knights in shining armor to protect them from this heinous crime? What if, instead, women took their safety into their own hands by becoming fully informed and educated on how to recognize a looming rape occurrence and how to successfully thwart it? A physical self-defense series. A self-defense firearm training class. All of these are ideal counter-measures to ensure that a woman never has to become a survivor and be left to simply dance to the present music that’s played for them. If a rape is fought back with skill and a pre-conditioned mind, then the survivor will be able to much better cope with the incident, leaving it behind with a sense of conquering evil rather than being trampled in its path. The same is true of the men in our lives who genuinely care about us. If they hold the tools and the knowledge to prevent and fight back against a rape, then their lives also have the real peace that’s necessary to survive a time of turmoil. And particularly in this case, there’s a lot to be said for Peace in Preparedness.
Lest anyone think that I’m simply agitating a problem without offering a solution, I am purposefully being incomplete in my assessment of solutions in this particular article. How a person elects to defend themselves is a very personal decision—one that must be made with conviction. While I won’t attempt to be secretive that I believe firmly in the effectiveness and even the necessity of using a firearm to defend against such occasions, I cannot project that same belief on others. But what I can do is to demonstrate the reality of the need for serious preparedness and hopefully aid in the education that’s necessary to make an informed decision in this regard. Too often I hear folks ignorantly believe that “protection” is only necessary for those who are not willing to share their goods and supplies. Today I’m sharing with you that that notion is a fallacy and I hope and pray that you will take this information today to heart—if not applicable for your own benefit, perhaps in your efforts to assist others in making this difficult but necessary decision. Ultimately I hope that I won’t conjure up nightmares for you, rather you find yourselves recipients of the peace that comes with proper, realistic preparedness.
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21 Comments
A. Wehrman · July 16, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Hi,
You, and millions of other Americans, were duped by false reports and gross exaggerations (shall we say GOSSIP) announced by the news media after hurricane Katrina.
There were NO mass murders, no gang rapes, etc.
The initial reports were false. They were hysteria. They were wrong.
Please read the following article which “debunks” the myths about rape/violence in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina….
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002520986_katmyth26.html
Our news media isn’t perfect. They make big mistakes sometimes; and once a rumor is started, it’s hard to stop.
Kellene · July 16, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Actually, Rusty, you are painfully incorrect. I wonder how two of my clients who were simultaneously gang raped during in the Louisiana Superdome would feel about your comment. I suspect they would feel (once more) like the forgotten victims of that disaster. When folks try to dismiss their pain as did your comment and that of the “reporter” in Seattle has done, it only adds to their pain and shame. Additionally, I don’t write based on gossip or areas in which I’m not knowledgeable. As the Founder of Women of Caliber, I’m privileged to have many contacts (law enforcement, military, and women and children centers) throughout the U.S. which involve me specifically in real information regarding women and children. So I stand firmly by my article.
Additionally, you will note that I did NOT say there were mass murders.
Also, perhaps you missed the part of the article which I talked about how rape is an UNDERreported crime–due in part to the shame that the women feel, as well as the fact that the rape is frequently compounded by a rape committed by a well-known relationship.
Additionally, though you may attempt to dispute what I wrote about the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, will you dispute the rapes, assaults, etc. that have been well documented during the Depression, World War II, Haiti, Rwanda, Zimbabwe, etc? Even if you are not accepting of the information of Louisiana and Texas, no good will be served to ignore the rest of the content of the article. Rape is real, and becomes even more real amidst a disaster. I would grieve if you or anyone reading your comment would choose NOT to be prepared in this manner simply because misinformed and insensitive persons try to dismiss the claims of the thousands of rape victims.
Shane · July 22, 2010 at 3:16 am
A. Wehrman
At the end of the online article you mention it says this:
“Reports of dozens of rapes at both facilities — many allegedly involving small children — may forever remain a question mark. Rape is a notoriously underreported crime under ideal circumstances, and tracking down evidence at this point, with evacuees spread all over the country, will be nearly impossible. The same goes for reports of armed robberies at both sites.”
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002520986_katmyth26.html
I think YOU are duped into thinking Nothing happened.
Kellene, You did a great job on this article!
Thanks,
—–Shane
Tiffany · July 16, 2010 at 8:33 pm
Kellene–
Thank you for writing about such an important topic. My brother, a police officer back in my home state of Montana, teaches self-defense classes for women specifically to prepare them to fight back and survive rape attacks and assault. His message is bone-chilling, quite frankly. I’m proud of my brother being willing to help arm women with information and skills. I’m thankful that you are also willing to share such important information and warnings.
–Tiffany 🙂
Saratoga Springs, UT
Barbara · July 17, 2010 at 1:01 am
Kellene,
Recently a home invasion in St. George UT included the threat of rape against the adult daughter of the family who were all duct taped while a thief was seeking more loot. They provided the additional information and he abscounded with it all but spared the family from the horrendous event that might have been. Thank you for bringing this topic to the forefront for us to consider. If only preparedness meant storing a little wheat, rice and beans – it truly is so much more and making the right decisions now can mean the difference to us and our families in so many ways.
Kathy · July 17, 2010 at 3:16 am
So Kellene, when will you be presenting your next defense class and firearms for women class? What do these classes include, how long are they, and what are the costs?
Kellene · July 17, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Kathy, the next class that I recommend for beginners is on August 28th. All of the information is on the Women of Caliber.com site.
Jana de Jager · July 17, 2010 at 6:43 am
It is a very uncomfortable subject, but one we need to take notice of and therefore be more prepared. Thank you for sharing!
Randy · July 17, 2010 at 8:12 am
Kellene,
How do you get a cherished wife to overcome an unrealistic fear of firearms and self-defense. I want the women in my life to be able to protect themselves in case I am not present to protect them. I also want to see the women in our church to learn how to protect themselves. Can you help me? Thanks!
Kellene · July 17, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Randy,
First of all, women need to educate themselves on this kind of topic in a “safe” environment. As much as you love her, it’s still very hard for women to learn such a topic from a man–particularly the one she loves.
I recommend that she get education in written form as well as in a professional environment–being taught by OTHER women.
I also teach a class that is specifically for women and only women. You can check out details on the my Women of Caliber.com website.
Kellene · July 17, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Randy,
First of all, women need to educate themselves on this kind of topic in a “safe” environment. As much as you love her, it’s still very hard for women to learn such a topic from a man–particularly the one she loves.
I recommend that she get education in written form as well as in a professional environment–being taught by OTHER women.
I also teach a class that is specifically for women and only women. You can check out details on my Women of Caliber.com website.
Cin · July 17, 2010 at 11:59 am
Along with the deep sadness of being a rape (or any assault) victim, there is always a measure of guilt that a victim feels deep inside for ‘allowing’ it to happen to them. Sure, the intentional words and smiles after-the-fact from a victim, are forced outwardly to show others just how well the victim is doing. When in fact, the victim is internally mortified by what has happened to them, for they ultimately (and almost continuously) blame themselves for the degradation and horrors they had to experience. The “why me” that a victim asks themselves afterward never stops, even when they say they are doing okay. If their closest of family and friends listen well enough and long enough, they will know that the victim is not okay. The effects can secretly linger a lifetime.
The first step of defensive measures is accepting that there will always be bad guys (and gals) in the world. No matter where we live there are bad people. Check even the smallest community paper in the nicest part of the world and see if it is not so.
Secondly for anyone believing that God will protect them … well that is fine thinking once they realize that God gave us the ability to do much for ourselves first. (Even the apostles were ready with a weapon in hand if necessary.)
And, finally, I would like to say there is safety in numbers. Pick and choose wisely though, for the wolves in sheep clothing. I have excellent friends that were in the Katrina aftermath and in lock down once they entered the Superdome. Their solution to a real threat (that was previous denied by another poster above) was to encircle all the adult men’s cots around all the possessions leaving no gaps, and that was placed around all the women and children. These were men that never left their tender flock alone at any time throughout their ordeal, nor without sentries. Never were they, nor the women and children allowed to roam unescorted for any reason. They all came through unscathed. Their secret lied in the fact that they were prepared for such an event and had a solution on how to handle it.
I just ask that people open their minds to the realization of a very real world that has fallen apart. Accept the truth that a lot of bad does exist and its high time to do something for yourself to even the odds.
Kristine · July 17, 2010 at 9:34 pm
Cin,
Thank you for sharing your great example of wisely chosen and prepared folks who circled around their valuables.
Blessings,
Kristine
jamie · July 18, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Get into your head folks do not think like a victim. I’m sorry to say that many folks are predators. Don’t be weak, get some “pepper spray” if you can’t see yourself handling a gun, I’d say get a gun and learn how to use it. The police will not protect you. By their own admission, have you seen what the Oakland PD will not investigate anymore? Do you think other cities and states aren’t looking at that admission?
I was in the “Military” I don’t want to shoot or hunt folks down. But I’ll not shirk protecting me and mine. Killing anyone will result in at least a bout of throwing up and a life altering event. If you won’t deal with that reality please post a sign. Say that your open to looting and the rape and murder of your family. You may save a life, though not your own actions or your family.
If you are willing to sacrifice that “God bless you”. Most won’t, I know I won’t. I know I will do unto others, the harm they will do unto me. I maybe wrong, I do hope that God will understand. But I will protect my family, friends and my tribe.
jamie · July 19, 2010 at 2:14 am
Randy will your “cherished wife” let her children be kidnapped? Because she has not been given the tools to defend them? I’m sorry the world is an ugly place.
I’ll still defend my family. Gun laws or not.
If you think the world is an ugly place imagine it without any police at all? Who will you seek for help/protection? and what will you pay?
Peg · July 19, 2010 at 3:25 am
Miss Kellene–This is a very good and a very needed article! My advice is to stop being weak and ill informed. If there is rape, there is a great possibility of maming, torture, and murder. The horror stories comming out of Africa are atrocious. All of these stories can not be fabricated. The women of Haiti are afraid to go to the bathroom because of being raped. Also, men can be raped too. This leaves terrible emotional scars for the victims. Your Logical mind tells you that it wasn’t your fault, but your Emotional mind doesn’t believe it. This kind of comflict can make your NUTS! You need couciling to resolve the conflict. Mr. Wehrman, if you choose not to believe that rape didn’t happen in Karina, I am really sad for you. There is a thing you can depend on when you bury your head in the sand. It leaves your hinny unprotected and anyone can take a clear shot at it.
jamie · July 19, 2010 at 5:52 am
I may not be the best person to help you Randy. I know many powerful women guns or noguns. It’s attitude, I do hope you can get your lady on board, Cause she maybe all that stands between your kids and some bad folks.
Cathrine · July 23, 2010 at 12:06 am
The comment you made, “The rampant criminal acts that took place during the Depression were not associated with obtaining food, money, or other vital need,” is so true. The looting that goes on after a crisis has nothing to do with survival. This should be an Ah Ha! moment for those who don’t think they need to protect themselves. The police will not be coming to your home, because they will be involved in bigger problems. Your house alarms will not be working in your house, because likely, your electricity will be off. If you do not have a weapon to protect yourself, your home will likely be looted and you will be harmed. Those that chose to do you harm are not interested in your supplies, but in what you have that they have never had. They will kill you for it because they can and get away with it. I never thought I would own a gun, but on Mother’s Day, that is exactly what I did – I bought a gun.
I am not eager to do someone harm, but I will protect my family and my home at all costs. Believing that your life is not expendable by those that wish to do you harm, will most likely get you killed. Being prepared goes beyond food and supplies. You are so right, that without mental and physical strength, you will still be at risk. Thanks so much for all the work you do to keep us informed. Be safe.
Jennifer · July 23, 2010 at 9:46 pm
This is such an important topic!
I was stalked/raped in front of my daughter years ago and while I could not have prevented it unless I had a big dog in the room (guess what I adopted soon after!) I always try to stress to people, women in particular:
LOCK THE DOORS WHEN YOU’RE HOME!
Attacks happen all the time in ‘nice’ homes, in ‘safe’ neighborhoods. People are so cautious about locking up when they leave, keeping their stuff safe, and never think to protect the most important thing of all, themselves! by locking doors when they’re home.
You don’t need to walk around in fear all the time, I hardly ever even think about it unless the topic comes up, but simply by turning the knob on a good deadbolt on the door as you come in the house can prevent a good amount of crimes.
Anyway, I enjoy this blog a lot as it pertains to stocking up and I was glad to see you address this topic as well! Crime can happen in the best of times, it’s a certainty that it will happen somewhere in your area if basic things break down in society.
Paul Harris · July 31, 2010 at 4:26 pm
While rape is a horrific and underreported crime, and it occurs far too often with men as victims as well I too must take exception with the statement, “a carnival land for deranged and disconnected males, committing rape against women, elderly, and even children as young as 10 years of age. ”
I was a San Diego tourist trapped in the Superdome. I couldn’t leave NOLA because the Airport, Amtrak, and Greyhound all shut down a day prior to the evacuation. While we all believed the rumors of rapes and murders because fear and Group Think are such powerful human behaviors, authorities later were unable to confirm any of these in the Superdome. There were members (Australians) of a group of tourists who I hooked up with who contributed to this by saying to the international media that 95% of the people in the Dome were on drugs and evil gang members carrying weapons. Rumors changed from a black man raping a 9 year old white girl to being a white man raping two 9 year old black girls and slitting their throats. One of the Aussies even said we were stepping over dead bodies all over the place. He truly believed/imagined this as real, but it wasn’t. These were children sleeping on urine and feces soaked cardboard in the aisles.
This type of misreporting and rumors lead to even more fear and tension. Using language like “a carnival land for deranged and disconnected males” sounds more like Fox “news” at it’s worst and is irresponsible reporting. Most people in the Superdome were families with children. We were all thoroughly searched by the National Guard and there were only a small percentage of bad apples. Considering the conditions inside the Dome it’s amazing that there weren’t murders and total chaos.
That said we should start educating our girls and boys at as early of an age as possible about rape, and respect for one another. And no one should ever be ashamed of reporting this horrific crime.
If someone doubts my story I have included footnotes in my book on the follow up reporting of what actually was reported.
Paul Harris
Author, “Diary From the Dome, Reflections on Fear and Privilege During Katrina”
Kellene · July 31, 2010 at 7:41 pm
I regret that my vocabulary has offended your professional senses. I’m definitely not the best writer out there. However, as I stated previously, I have no reason to dis-believe my two girlfriends and their story of what they have endured. And I cringe to think that anyone would dismiss their pain and anguish simply due to their own view point. Unfortunately, with one of the girls, it was a National Guard member who aided in the gang rape. It’s presently going through litigation for the pain she suffered.
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