DIY Protein Powder-Without Protein

Hold onto your blenders, smoothie enthusiasts! Are you ready to embark on a protein-packed adventure that’ll make your muscles flex and your wallet breathe a sigh of relief? Forget those overpriced, underwhelming store-bought protein powders that taste like the dust bunnies under your gym bag. It’s time to channel your inner mad scientist and whip up a DIY protein concoction that’ll have you saying, ‘I can’t believe it’s not expensive!’ So grab your apron (or your superhero cape), and let’s dive into the world of homemade protein powders that’ll make both your taste buds and your bank account do a happy dance.

First things first, let’s talk ingredients. We’re going full-on hippie here, folks, starting with hemp protein. Yes, it’s from the cannabis plant, but before you start planning your next Grateful Dead tribute party, let me assure you – this stuff won’t get you high. It’s just a super-powered, sustainably farmed complete protein that’ll make your muscles sing without making you see rainbows.

Next up, we’ve got chia seeds. These little powerhouses have been regulating blood sugar and promoting heart health since before it was cool. They’re like the hipsters of the seed world, except they actually live up to the hype. Plus, they’re tasteless, so you won’t feel like you’re drinking sand with your smoothie.

Rounding out our trio of wonder seeds is flaxseed. It’s packed with thiamine, a B vitamin responsible for metabolizing energy. Think of it as nature’s Red Bull, minus the wings (and the jitters).

Now, why should you bother making this magical mixture? Let me count the ways:

1. Gain Muscle: Because who doesn’t want to look like they could bench press a small car?
2. Lose Weight: It keeps you full longer, so you’re less likely to raid the fridge at midnight like a raccoon in a dumpster.
3. Boost Immunity: It strengthens every cell in your body. Take that, common cold!
4. Embrace Healthy Eating: It’s the healthiest “fast food” you’ll ever find. Sorry, kale chips, you’ve been dethroned.

Ready to become a protein powder wizard? Here’s how:

Use equal parts of the following ingredients:

1. Toss your hemp protein, chia seeds, and flaxseed into a blender. Make sure it’s dry, or your chia seeds will start a gel party you didn’t invite them to.
2. Blend on high until you’ve got a fine powder. If your blender starts making noises like a dying robot, stop and scrape the bottom.
3. Transfer to an airtight container. Mason jars work great – they’re like the cargo pants of the kitchen world.

Use 1/4 cup per serving, and voila! You’ve got yourself 15 servings of protein-packed goodness. Store it in a dark place, like that cabinet where you hide your secret chocolate stash.

Having said this, I also like to add some powdered coconut milk.  It’s my new passion!

Pro tip: If your blender is struggling harder than you on leg day, double or triple the recipe. More volume means easier blending, and more protein powder for your post-apocalyptic bunker. Because let’s face it, when the zombies come, you’ll want to be the buffest survivor in the wasteland.

And hey, this stuff isn’t just for smoothies. Sneak it into pancakes, muffins, or even brownies. It’s vegan too, so you can feel extra smug at your next potluck.