The LIttle Red Hen parable comes to mind when people say they are coming to my house in a crisis.
I have to say, this is my most hated and loathed 5 word sentence. Anyone who has the temerity to take control of their future though, aka practices self-reliance, has heard these words, or a derivative thereof way too many times.
“When things get rough, I’m coming to YOUR house!”
“Why do I need to prepare for anything? I’ll just go to my parents house?” “
If the world comes to an end, I’ll just get my gun and find me a Mormon.”
I gotta tell you, I even hate hearing these things when they are said in jest. To me they are just as grating on me as when someone takes the Lord’s name in vain or drops the F-bomb. It’s NOT okay for a person to make death threats, bully or harass another human being—even if they are smiling while they do it, and not O.K. for a person to shirk their own responsibility to take care of themselves and their family. ACCIDENTS happen, yes. But “planning” on coming to my house INSTEAD of working just as hard as I have to be ready for life’s challenges doesn’t just happen. It’s premeditated CRIME, and what most people don’t realize is that it’s a crime of the worst offense—murder. Homicide, manslaughter, and murder all encompass the killing of another human being, but murder with mens rea, aka malicious intent to kill, is the worst of them all. It doesn’t matter if the crime of death was drawn out of the course of 2 minutes or they were slowly poisoned or tortured for 2 years; if a death occurs as the result of prior intent it is considered murder in the 1st degree. Such charges in the legal system result in the death penalty in most states.
Unplanned People at My House?
Right about now you might be saying “Wow, Kellene’s taking it a little too far, I think.” At first blush it may seem a bit extreme or melodramatic, but let’s look at it this way; if we carefully prepare to ensure the safety and well-being of our family members for a set period of time, come what may, and spend work, effort, money, and time—of which we have no more every day than does the next person—then the addition of an UNPLANNED-for person into that equation can only means one thing—the suffering, and likely death of one or more of the persons which you have worked so hard to provide for and protect. 
Physics comes into play here as we recognize that no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time. In a crisis scenario, every bit of preparation will be critical. The Abundance Mentality, which I ascribe to personally, get replaced by a different type of mentality in such a scenario, regardless of what I think of it. A person can’t live without proper shelter, environmental control, water, and food and no matter how charitable my heart is, nothing can change that. If I haven’t prepared for extra people in my efforts, then the only consequence of you coming to my house amidst a crisis and helping yourself to what I’ve put up in anticipation thereof is the suffering and potential death of those I love.
Is your House Prepared?
Let’s not even look at the finite rations that I might have. Let’s talk about the first two Principles of Preparedness, Spiritual and Mental Preparedness. If you haven’t been preparing spiritually and mentally in terms of strengthening your belief system, skill-set, knowledge, and your mental fortitude, then you are not merely another mouth to feed; you are a serious liability to the safety of me and my loved ones. EVERYONE around us is either an asset or a liability. If I’ve taken the time to train, educate, drill, and practice lifesaving skills and you require extra attention, time, or other consideration, then you, who have invited yourself to my sanctuary, are compromising the safety and well-being of those who HAVE prepared. One may whine about “where’s the fairness in you having so much and I have none?” But I say where is the fairness in me paying the price for peace and self-reliance and allowing your lack of doing so compromise or even destroy all that I’ve done?! 
Contrary to what so many people practice, preparedness has very little to do with food storage. (Oh how I wish that more folks would remember that.) Prepping is a journey, not a destination; so we’ll never be “done” but we will have a logistical, finite amount of provisions, but we simply cannot afford to share provisions with persons who haven’t prepared in all of the other Principles of Preparedness because a dearth in any of those areas can kill us just as easily as hypothermia. So when you are making the choice that you will or will not help someone who’s refused to help themselves PLEASE remember that your risk assessment can’t just take into consideration the tangible goods. So when a person says “I’m coming to your house” they are already showing their woefully inadequate lack of more important Principles of Preparedness. Also, keep in mind that some may not have the luxury of fully exercising the wisdom of being prepared in a balanced manner. Some may be barely getting through a trial with what they’ve been able to do in advance of a coming crisis. The fact of the matter is, while a person MAY materially speaking be O.K. coming into my home, the research and statistics reveal that over 80% of those who consider themselves “Preppers” are not suitably prepared materially speaking for a long-term crisis (3 months or more) for their own family in the face of a financial collapse, drought, famine, regional or nation quarantine, and a litany of other potential disasters–let alone taking in others and caring for them as well. So, a person who has the laissez-fare attitude of inviting themselves into someone else’s supplies is actually more likely to cause extreme suffering and/or death to such a family than not! Possible Responses to “I’m Coming to Your House”:
“O.K. That will be $53,872, please, payable in gold or silver, a year in advance.” “Let’s say we’re both Type 1 Diabetes sufferers. I have stored a month’s supply of medications and you’ve stored none. Is it all right for you to invite yourself to rob me of my quality of life when you’ve not done anything to take care of yours?” “And will you be dressed as Genghis Khan, the British Soldiers, or Attila the Hun when you do so? “Actually, I view my sacred stewardship over taking care of my family very seriously. I would hope that you’re only kidding and view that same stewardship to take care of yourself and your loved ones just as seriously. “ “So, let me get this straight. I’ve worked for the last 10 years so that when things go wrong I’m not a burden on you and your family, but it’s OK for you to do nothing and knowingly become burden on me and mine?” “Great—and I’ll be sure to let you in so long as you know the password.” “Well, you better come armed and skilled then.” “So, let’s see if I understand; you’ve shown that you have no regard for your own well-being and safety, Now, why would I want you around my family to expose them to that same kind of dangerous way of thinking? “And which of my children would you have me kill at my house so that you can shirk your own personal responsibility?” “Great, and when I retire I’m coming to YOUR retirement fund.” “Sure, just so long as you surrender your weekly paycheck and any spare time you’ve got now for the next 10 years.” “When the roads have been torn up due to an earthquake, or when the value of the dollar is useless, or when gas costs $20 a gallon or when you’ve been ordered to stay in your home due to a quarantine, tell me how that plan works for ya?” “Oh, you mean just like Adolph Hitler helped himself to the wealth and life’s work of the Jews?” “Is that your idea of a PLAN or a threat?” “Sure, I need real people to volunteer to test my security system for the uninvited.” “Fabulous. Admission is an entire year’s supply of bullets, beans, and band-aids per person.”
Prepare YOUR Home–Now!
Now, having said that all this, understand that I do believe that it is WISE to prepare for more than just you and your family. I believe in being charitable. But you and I both know that charity is not possible when taken by force or manipulation. I personally have a hard time just thinking in terms of just us when it comes to being more self-reliant. But like I always say, there are 2 kinds of people that will come to me—those who would ask and those who would take, and there’s only one kind of person that has a chance of leaving my home without seriously limping. But obviously, we all have to start somewhere. My husband and I started with just our household in mind, and then expanded to his folks, then my sister’s family, and so on and so forth to the point that we’re focused on trying to prepare for 100 of our family members—most of which are children. We do this because we know that even in spite of their own efforts to prepare themselves, something may happen to prevent them from using their preparedness supplies. I alw
ays joke that it would be ironic if I’m killed in an earthquake because my 3,000 pounds of wheat crush me. Granted, that just might happen. A flood may destroy everything. An earthquake may swallow everything. A mandatory quarantine may come at a time when we’re all gathered for a family holiday. I’m to the point now that I have the luxury of preparing for such an event—but that’s the key—it’s a luxury. The best thing that we can do to help others later, is to help them prepare NOW because otherwise, regardless of how much we love, care, and are concerned for others, we will not be able to violate the laws of physics or of justice and do more than we are able to do without compromising the safety, comfort, and life of those who we are eternally responsible to care for. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather tell my Father in Heaven that I had to turn away someone else than tell Him that I failed to take care of my family whom He entrusted me to care for. Neither thought is pleasant, but we’ve got to draw the line in the sand somewhere. All this being said, while the individuals who will say “I’m coming to your house” are somewhat clueless to the ramifications of such a statement that doesn’t alter what other truths I know. I want to say that I KNOW that we have been and will continue to be helped extensively by the Lord with great abundance so that I can temporally provide for more and more of those around me who might need it. In fact, ever since I started couponing I’ve come to understand what the scripture means that says
“and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” (See Malachi 3: 8-10)
As good as I am about rotating and using my space wisely I’m certainly starting to run out of room to receive all that He’s blessed us with. How it’s ultimately used is up to Him, sure. But I also know that no matter how much I prepare, I will never be able to do so enough to make up for the willful lack of preparedness of others; and frankly, He’s not asking me to do that either. That’s not how He works. So keeping that in mind, I encourage everyone to do what you can. Keep the whole “I’m coming to your house” statement in the proper perspective along with the firm resolve to do so, and keep on working on what you have the ability to do.
111 Comments
Kelly · April 19, 2012 at 7:49 pm
I personally like, “You better be wearing your best body armor. Trespassers will be shot without question. Especially if I know you and you show up uninvited.” The facial responses and stammering afterwards are priceless. Folks realize you are serious and stop jesting.
Gwenivere · April 19, 2012 at 8:00 pm
My response; “Well, if you can get past the razor wire, booby-trapped perimeter, dogs and gunfire, I’ll see you there!” always gets me some funny looks!
Seriously, I really can’t figure out why someone so woefully UNprepared would think that someone who IS prepared would welcome them in?
MikeyDee · April 19, 2012 at 8:01 pm
I’ve heard the same statements for years. My response has always been good luck with that. We used to live 114 miles out of town. Since ’87 30 miles out. There are probably sixty families out here now, and they’re more prepared than I am. I’m setting in fairly good shape.
Thanks for all that you do.
Sharon Cundiff · April 19, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Man are you ever right on target and extremely timely. I was watching an episode of Doomsday Preppers (On-Demand so I’m not sure which) and a lady had friends over and while they were sitting around the table one of those “friends” said when it happens… “I’m coming to your house.” I hit pause and went off. Those comments burn me up. I think I will just cut and paste your entire list of responses and hand it to the next bone head who says that to me. There is a similar comment from non home schoolers, (we home school) that also chafs me. Really people? Thanks again for your wise words and thanks for the venue for my own little rant!
Ammie · April 19, 2012 at 9:59 pm
I have had similar statements directed to me. What really got my goat was when I was explaining to my “friend” why I was preparing, and why we couldn’t go to that expensive resturaunt. Her comment to me was “we’ll just go to your house if anything happens”. Now, tell me why should I sacrifice now, while she doesn’t, so that we can support her and her family later. People do not realize how maddning that is! Sure I would have loved to go and enjoy a wonderful meal with them, but proirities make it unavailable at the current time. What about the 21/2 week vacation they went on last fall? I just put in a new chicken coop, she remodeled her bathroom. Now ask me how willing I am going to be to share my eggs! This is my best friend, and I would have difficulty saying no, BUT if she is not willing to put forth the effort now, why should I later? She, like I have said is my best friend, and I am truely hoping that I can “convert” her. She says that she will start to prep after her bathroom is done. I can only hope that she has time. I can only hope that this bathroom was worth her fience’s life. He’s diabetic and will require a special diet. HOPE, that is all that I can do. I just now realized how jealous I just sounded! Yikes. I am really not I am content with what I already have. I guess I just wanted to point out that people dont realize how worthless some of these trivial things will be later.
Kellene Bishop · April 19, 2012 at 10:03 pm
So, this may sound a bit dramatic, but if your best friend was pointing a gun at the head of your loved one, would you be ok defending yourself and telling her “no” then? Think about it. It’s more real than we like to think and planning ahead of time and getting that straight in our heads and our hearts is more critical than the supplies we set aside. That’s also why Spiritual Preparedness is the first principle of Preparedness, because sometimes you may be inclined to say “yes” or “no” but that little whisper of the Spirit may change our answer. We’ve got to nurture out ability to pay attention to that and recognize it.
by the way, I didn’t really think you sounded jealous.
Laura · April 19, 2012 at 11:43 pm
Spirit talks in many ways…and keeping ourselves and loved ones safe it the bottom line…
Ammie · April 23, 2012 at 1:47 am
Thanks Kellene. Like I said, all I can really do is continue to urge her to start prepping. I will however, help her with the knowledge that I have gained from you and all the others on this site. Thanks again for all that you do!
Sarah · April 23, 2012 at 6:43 am
If she says that she’ll start after such and such activity, call her on it. Set up a date to go to the cannery with her, and give her a schedule of the things she will buy when. That’s what my mom and I have tried to do for our friends. I would rather they have some food that they just put away that I’ve convinced (guilt-tripped) them into getting than nothing, plus, maybe that will get her started.
Ammie · April 28, 2012 at 9:04 pm
Thanks Sarah! What a great idea. I actually spent the morning garage saling with my friend and she looked at me funny when I purchased my new (used) Colman lantern. I told her “you know why”. She has almost completed her bathroom and I will definately give her a list. She did mention today that she was interested in how I was canning chicken. Maybe she will start!! I wont even mind sharing my pressure cooker.
GrammyWebb · April 19, 2012 at 10:14 pm
It is just because of this, I have been educating myself for many years. I can heat with wood, have helped butcher and cut up pork, beef, and turkeys, can sew very well with a treadle machine, grow vegetables and herbs, have compiled lots of old fashioned recipes for cleaning, sanitizing supplies, and meals, and am currently learning about essential oils and lerbal medicine. I am old, and bringing up my grandson. I am disabled to some degree…have bad arthritis in my knees…so I realize I am a liability to most communities. I have thought long and hard about what I am able to do, and how to make myself useful to a community, so I can pull my weight if and when the time comes. You are right…it’s so much more than storing food…you have to think about what you can contribute, not what you can get….
Rani · April 20, 2012 at 1:22 am
Grammy! You are an asset.
GrammyWebb · April 20, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Thank you Rani…I try very hard to be sure I am not a burden, or someone to be pitied, and lugged along…I WILL be trudging along wioth everyone else, towards my bud out place….grandson, shotgun, and bug out bags in my wagon…lol…look out, I’m determined….
Suzie Q · April 22, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Sounds to me like you have a lot to offer. You have knowledge. You could be in a wheelchair and still be an asset – especially if you know how to teach others this knowledge.
Swede · April 19, 2012 at 10:47 pm
I have also heard this from many people when they find out that I have a little bit of home storage, and I have also thought about this a great deal over the years and been able to feel at peace about this particular scenario. Do any of us really think that the Lord would ask us to protect our resourses by force I really cannot see myself sitting on my front porch with a shot gun, shooting my neighbors because they are starving to death and need nourishment. Of course, I can see protecting myself and my family from looters and robbers, but I do not think that we would be asked to deprive humbled brothers and sisters of life-saving nourishment. There may be some of us who may face that kind of a decision, and I think that if we consider it from an eternal perspective we could only come to one conclusion. We are all here upon the earth to see if we will make the decisions to be selfish and miserable, or to be kind, generous, and happy. If we die being generous, it will be much better for us in the eternities than it will be if we live, being selfish. That being said, I think that God will bless those that are prepared and are willing to follow the Prophet, no matter what he may ask of us. We may not have to make this decision at all.
Kellene Bishop · April 19, 2012 at 11:48 pm
It appears that you missed key and critical points of the article. This is NOT about shooting your neighbors, this is about protecting yourself. Surely I don’t need to pour over all of the scriptural content which supports this principle??
You’ve taken the message of this article and twisted it to an extreme. This isn’t about protecting THINGS. This is about protecting PERSONS and last I checked, people DIE from starvation, dehydration, disease, cold exposure, etc. You’re telling me that if there’s a quarantine you wont’ turn people away in order to keep your family safe and healthy??
This article is about recognizing our duty, first and foremost, to those that we have stewardship to protect and provide for. Do you deny that you have such a responsibility?? As a father and a spouse, your FIRST responsibility is to take care of your family, and you accepted that responsibility when you married and when you had children. So you don’t get the luxury of dying and leaving them with insufficient care–not by choice anyway. Though not everything comes across correctly in print, I interpret your response to closely resemble those who say “I don’t need to prepare; God will take care of everything.”
Lastly, you missed the key point of the article at the end in which you must rely upon your spiritual preparedness in order to discern between those who the Lord would have you help, in which you can EXPECT Him to help you help them and bless you accordingly–as that’s how He works, or to know those who would do you harm.
The need of your neighbors or strangers does not absolve any of us from being wise. Do you think that any of the 10 Virgins didn’t know each other? Do you know what the consequences were of those who didn’t have their lamps full and thus were not invited to the Feast of the Bridegroom? No. And guess what, you don’t know what’s in store for those that you have to turn away as well because they didn’t have oil in their lamps too.
This article, in no way conflicts with the previous message that I wrote about charity in your preparedness. http://preparednesspro.com/do-preppers-belong-on-tv/
JJ · September 7, 2016 at 4:21 pm
Theres only one piece of
Theres only one piece of scripture that speaks to how we should behave toward one another and based upon your statement I take it, it wont be included in your list.
Preparedness Pro · September 7, 2016 at 8:46 pm
Oh, are you referring the
Oh, are you referring the scriptural account of the Virgins and their oil lamps??
Quigath · April 25, 2012 at 10:02 pm
The tricky thing, which I think Kellene caught on to in her reply, is the fact that Swede is considering two different outcomes in the same thought. They need to be addressed separately.
The first is that we should share with others when it will save their lives and not harm our own families; this is charity.
The second is that, if we are all going to die anyway, then why not share with the beggar to reduce his suffering; we will all rejoice together in the afterlife.
These two notions are each important but should not be confused together, as they are different situations.
However, there is a third rare but critical point that keeps being mentioned, where giving to another would directly take from, and harm, our own family. Doing this would be neither charity nor wisdom, it would be neglect of duty and imprudence.
Preparedness Pro · September 7, 2016 at 8:47 pm
Indeed!
Indeed!
KA0GRC · April 19, 2012 at 11:16 pm
If we are smart it would be to our advantage to make a pre disaster agreement of mutual aid and reciprocity of invitations to like minded preppers with different skill sets.
Ward Dorrity · April 19, 2012 at 11:17 pm
I’d tell them to bring a gallon of diesel. When they ask why, I’d tell ‘em that I’m not willing to waste my own fuel to run the backhoe to bury their sorry dead @&#.
Rani · April 20, 2012 at 1:40 am
LOL
Deborah · April 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm
LOL
Julie · April 19, 2012 at 11:34 pm
Once again, Kellene, you have articulated a concept I have struggled with. It is well known in my ward that I take preparedness seriously and I frequently hear that phrase. It frustrates me because we do not own a boat, take fancy vacations, or buy a new car every 3 years. I have told me neighbors I will be posting a big “I told you so” sign in my front yard and that I will not take food out of the mouths of my children. I try to prepare to help others like the single mother who is trying with what little resources she has. But there is a difference between the single mother who is working with so little compared to the family that chooses to spend their money on other things. I applaud your boldness and your speaking out on a topic that makes so many preppers cringe.
Barbara · April 19, 2012 at 11:35 pm
How about, ” Si, no comprende” ??? Either that, or don’t introduce your friends to your canine watchdogs (“We can make it to the fence in 2 seconds- can you?”) and see how far they get. It really is a shame that people don’t take more responsibility for themselves and their families. It’s sad that my email list of people that I send prepper articles to, has grown dismally small – they are all in DENIAL (” Don’t Worry – Be Happy”). Or as some have told me, “Why would we want to live in a world like that? “, as if that absolves them from all responsibility. So what – you’re just going to lay down in front of the zombie hordes and let them eat you? Not me or mine! We have posted , “Beware of Dog – He Eats Everyone the Owner shoots”. Now I know that isn’t charitable, but I am sending this article to all my friends and family (all those who are in DENIAL), and I hope they get the point……..
Kellene Bishop · April 19, 2012 at 11:51 pm
I LOVE your sign. LOL What kind of warped people think these things up? 🙂
Laura · April 19, 2012 at 11:41 pm
You are dead on in your thoughts and comments…this is one reason why my preps are not in sight, I don’t talk too much about what I do/don’t have and while I post on Face book myself, hints, tips and such…I don’t TELL ALL and I don’t share, won’t share with those who I have warned but won’t heed. I have charity in mind but it will be on my terms and I won’t short my own family. I am sorry, but this burns me up no end…sigh…forewarning…you will be turned away, I will help you get down the road but you aren’t staying unless you got something I need…such as being a doctor, nurse or vet or something of value…it is what it is, as hard core as it sounds…you have been warned its coming, the ways to do it on little to nothing are out there…do something to help yourself, be able to take care of yourself…that is what being prepared is all about..otherwise I will help you get to the FEMA camp…by yourself…but you are not coming to my house…try me 🙂
You put it best:
“The best thing that we can do to help others later, is to help them prepare NOW because otherwise, regardless of how much we love, care, and are concerned for others, we will not be able to violate the laws of physics or of justice and do more than we are able to do without compromising the safety, comfort, and life of those who we are eternally responsible to care for. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather tell my Father in Heaven that I had to turn away someone else than tell Him that I failed to take care of my family whom He entrusted me to care for.”
Donnella · April 20, 2012 at 1:42 am
Timely article Kellene. I think pointing out that during an EMP, earthquake, quarantine, etc., that people must shelter in place or have limited ability to travel should get anyone’s attention when pointed out.
Since I’ve begun reading your blog, I will not consider leaving the house without walking shoes, water, etc. You just never know.
With our grown children, I’ve told them “you may not be able to make it here, you need to have preparations at home.”
Jamie · April 20, 2012 at 2:14 am
It’s so true! In fact I was going to do a post with the same title. I have tried to show how even on a limited income and disabled you can still prepare. I have had folks that make 2, 3 times or more a month tell me it’s to expensive to prepare. Or some how all the work I do preparing is easier for me than it it is for them.
Connie · April 20, 2012 at 5:11 am
Excellent article. I love your spirit, Kellene.
I want to thank you for the contest because it gave me an opportunity to involve many of my friends and relatives in my own preparedness efforts in a simple way. Lilke someone else posted, the list of people I feel free to share with is dismally short and for all I know most things I have dared to forward have been deleted unread. But this personal appeal for help opened several doors, so now I can perhaps share more. I hope those who helped will really get into your website and learn all the valuable information you have here, but mostly that they will begin talking to me about preparing themselves so I can encourage them and help build community with them. Kudos for a brilliant idea!
Mary · April 20, 2012 at 7:12 am
I have been struggling with this very issue. I have told others how to prepare, warned them and no one has done anything. Yet Jesus says, “I was hungry and you fed Me not.” “Depart from Me”. I am wondering if it is a test for us – the same way as the widow with the last bit of flour who fed the prophet Elijah and her little resource never ran out?
Kellene Bishop · April 20, 2012 at 7:23 am
That’s the key to what I shared at the end of the article–in the scriptural example that you used, it was because the widow was moved upon by the Spirit that she gave of her last bit of flour, not because she was shirking her duties as a mother. And that’s why I believe that our spiritual antennae need to be tuned in so that if such circumstances arise in which the Lord is counting on us to help others, we better be able to hear that prompting, the same as we need to hear the prompting to pull back and escape danger too. If you’ll look up the article “Should Preppers Be On TV” I cover the charity aspect of prepping. Again, this is not about defending stuff, this is about honoring our stewardship to care for our family.
Lynn · April 20, 2012 at 7:13 am
Excellent responses Kellene! I need to memorize them so that I can come up with them faster. I usually look like a deer in the headlights, because I am SO stunned at who says it to me and when. I guess this will be a work in progress on a preparedness project of another kind. lol. Loved this post.
Melinda McCulley · April 20, 2012 at 9:05 am
I totally agree. Can you please post some recipes for food made without refrigeration? Thanks so much for all the info you’ve givenl
GrammyWebb · April 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm
Melinda….dehydrate….all us old hippie-dippies have been dehydrating for a long time…it takes up a lot less room, and can be sealed in food saver bags….veggies, herbs, meat, potatoes, fruit…just cut them up and put them in the dehydrator…it takes 24 hrs or less, depending on the bulk and water content…meat jerkies, fruit leather, and dried slices…everything from celery and onions to peaches, apples, berries, carrots….it all tastes good too…..
KS · April 20, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Kellene – has your cookbook been published? I would really like to purchase it!
Janice · April 20, 2012 at 9:09 am
I just tell them to bring their body bag with them. LOL Or I sometimes tell them to ask my hubby. He’s a big Marine who does not tolerate stupid people. I tell them he is in charge of security and who will or will not be welcomed. That usually stops them as hubby can be intimidating to look at.
sam rutter · April 20, 2012 at 11:26 am
The few people I know and trust. Know what the 411 is in my home. If safe harbor is what my place is going to be, I tell them they better bring everything that they can with them. And by that I mean EVERYTHING! JOA is the game plan, and I run the house.
Virginia · April 20, 2012 at 12:13 pm
A friend who advised me on parts of the preparation process keeps reminding me that I need now to just keep what we’re doing to ourselves. A friend who recently asked if they could come to our house, I just said no, lol. I think we all know in our hearts that the reason these people say things like that is that they think we’re wasting our time, not that they truly expect to join us. However, as for the charitable angle… I am making sure I have in our pantry extra containers of Ezekiel Bread and we’re growing a lot of sweet potatoes, the kinds of things that are simple but have nutrients to keep people alive. Also sprouts. This is in addition to our other stored foods for our family, of course; I just want to be able to help someone if I can, without jeopardizing our own safety.
AutumnGal · April 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Spot on, again Kellene! When someone makes one of those nearsighted, selfish and irresponsible comments Ask them WHY? Then bite the end of your tongue until it bleeds if you have to, until “they answer YOUR question”. The act of not prepping (by anyone who is informed on any level) is because they refuse TO think about the what ifs. Maybe requiring them TO think is more important than “trying to convince them”… Ever hear, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still”? Same applies to non-preppers. Good hearted people, are by design, helpers and givers and without using self discipline, that can easily become a fault, placing themselves and their family is serious danger. I think it’s very important to know that we know, if a person is really a true friend or simply a user through manipulation.
Some more good responses to “I’m coming to your house” are;
1. Ohhh I certainly hope not!
2. YOu wouldn’t really put yourself in that kind of danger, would you?
3. Ohhh my??? You mean you are NOT prepping?
4. Hummm, you seem like such a level headed person.
The point and purpose for using the “unexpected response” is to “make” the other person think about what “they” said…. which obviously, thay have not and to do that is truly an act of kindness from you!
VanMom · April 20, 2012 at 4:29 pm
🙂 Well said, AutumnGal!
Sandy Taylor · April 21, 2012 at 11:21 pm
Well said indeed! These I can use, easily and regularly. I had someone say that to me just this past week, and I wish I had thought of your witty responses. I like Kellene’s “that will be $53,246 please” too!
~ Sandy Taylor
Holly · April 20, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Wonderfully written and thought provoking article, Kellene! Prepping really does have so little to do with food , yet in the end the physics of the food and its rationing will dictate much.
It is a mindset. Those who have very little and live humbly and practice prudence will be more welcome in a survival scenario than those who need a T shirt that says, “Coulda, Shoulda, Didn’t, DUH!” on it because they HAD resources to prepare and didn’t.
I have no witty response to the “I’m coming to your house” because it grieves my spirit in all the ways you have so thoroughly articulated.
I personally can’t make cavalier statements about harming others and I’ve never been able to joke at the expense of others. But I do need a succinct statement that conveys the error of their thinking and causes instant mortification and (hopefully) a change of ways.
Just a random, wild hare thought –I wonder what would happen if you just showed up at that person’s house, uninvited and empty handed some Thanksgiving or Christmas morning, maybe with friends in tow, to see how well that was received…then used it as a ‘teaching moment”, haha!
Carey · April 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm
I told my husband I wanted to move to Utah and he looked at me like I was crazy. I wanted to move there, not because I wanted to mooch off Kellene but because I want to take her classes and learn from her. Fortunately, I am learning from her blogs and tips and recipes. I am new at prepping sort of. I have learned to can fruits from my mother and grandmother but they didnt tell me how to use a pressure canner.Kellenes article about canning bacon has inspired me to buy a better pressure canner and my daughter is going to pay for half of it. So you can say that my daughter is prepping also. We have been sharing bits and pieces that we both do. I worry about my other 2 daughters that live in Florida. (I live in Missouri). So I will be putting extra aside for them and making bug out bags for them. I can see why you have to draw a line somewhere. You feel like you have to take care of your own family and extended family but any strangers and friends who know what I am doing should not think I will open my doors to them when the SHTF.. I wont and I have guns to deter them. My Mother has always told me stories of feeding the bums that get off the trains where she lived and of “feeding angels unaware”., and of feeding the Lord and not knowing it. But I can’t take that chance. I would worry about cheating my children out of a life by not being able to feed them.So I will keep learning, from Kellene and really all of you who post. And stay right where I am.
Kellene Bishop · April 20, 2012 at 3:30 pm
*grin*
Stephanie · April 20, 2012 at 3:04 pm
I personally don’t tell “everyone” that we prep. But when the topic of groceries, television programs, couponing etc come up I listen carefully to what people say. I choose my words carefully too. I offer ideas if someone tells me they would like to prep but don’t know where to start like, “perhaps you could start by getting two of some things and setting them aside”. If someone tells me they think prepping is stupid and fatalistic then I just remind them that the Lord has charged us with the care and protection of our families and we don’t always know what tomorrow brings. We have been in situations where our area has had fires in which we lost power, the two roads into the nearest town were shut due to the fires and the grocery store shelves where nearly empty. We have been in situations where family members have been trapped in cities after severe earthquakes made it almost impossible to get by for days. Those same family members were separated from their children because they were in school. It was extremely difficult both on the children and the parents because they didn’t know how to reunite. THEY HAD NO PLAN. So I do relate those stories to people who wonder if they should prep. I am quick to tell people that while not everyone is worried about zombies or black ops infiltrating our communities, or transformers coming from outer space and taking over; everyone should be prepared for something ie loss of job or income, serious illness in the family, acts of God (earthquake, flood etc) . If someone has further interest I give the blog sites etc so they can further feed their interest. Having said all this, no one sees my storage, my preps or know just exactly what I have. I don’t offer to show anyone my bank book or bills or any financial or medical information and I feel this is just as personal.
SallyD. · April 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm
My favorite comment is from my oldest daughter, ” I don’t need to prep for anything, you have it all covered”. I honestly don’t doubt that she will show up with just the cloths on her back looking for help. Of course I will take her in, she has awesome cooking skills.
SallyD. · April 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm
My favorite comment is from my oldest daughter, ” I don’t need to prep for anything, you have it all covered”. I honestly don’t doubt that she will show up with just the clothes on her back looking for help. Of course I will take her in, she has awesome cooking skills.
Marge · April 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm
Great article. Thank you for all you bring to us. I have heard “I am coming to your house” from the only people (3) that know that I have preps. I don’t tell or talk about it to anyone else. Surely the Fedex and UPS guys have a clue though. I shared some home canned goods with one neighbor, in the know, the other day. As I was giving it to her she insinuated I was a hoarder. Ouch!. I commented that this is the food I eat on a daily basis. Just because I buy in bulk does not make me a hoarder. She and her hubby are included in my planning and food storage. Little does she know that we are willing to feed them long term. We have preps for a dozen people for about 2 years. I have learned to not talk about what is in my preps but I will continue to try to persuade others to have some amount of goods in store for emergencies. We have ice storms and can lose power easily. That is generally what I ask people to plan for. Thanks again for yopr many words of wisdom.
KS · April 20, 2012 at 4:13 pm
I have recently seen firsthand how quickly people turn on each other and become divided when personal rights are being threatened. In a town meeting a few weeks ago, (I live in a small, close-knit community), a by-law was discussed regarding the government being allowed/not allowed to take people’s personal property, by force if necessary, in times of emergency. This would include everything from your farm machinery to your food storage. I won’t go into detail, but friends and neighbors got very fired up over their differences of opinion on the matter. It basically came down to one side who believes in preparing for their families and helping however they can, and one side who believes in the greater good for the majority of the community (believing that the government will step in to make the best choices and give aid). I had naively believed that we were a strong, like-minded community that would stick together, but saw how rapidly neighbors will turn on each other. Long-time friendships have been severed over this debate, and we’re not even in hard times yet!
Please be very selective who you tell about your preparedness efforts. I feel that letting a lot of people know you have storage puts you at increased risk. Find and help others who are also devoted to preparation, but don’t put a target on your back for those who aren’t.
Kellene – thank you for all your insight and information. You are very brave in sharing with all of us, to teach us and help us become better. I don’t take it lightly, and I really appreciate it! ‘Thank you’ doesn’t even cover it.
Cathy · April 21, 2012 at 2:45 am
This attitude can be very easily seen on Twilight Zone and the episode titled “The Shelter” and this is from the 60’s, check it out.
Stephanie · April 20, 2012 at 4:22 pm
My husbands cousin often says we are hoarders… she points at people in her neighborhood and accuses them of “hoarding” because they recycle newspaper or cans or bottles, however she buys tons of things online that remain in boxes stacked in a guest room in her house. Unuseful things that she buys and forgets about. Including food items she orders and lets rot because she has no room in the freezer and no room in the refridgerator. They just looked good at the time. She just needs something to do so she shops online (she is handicapped and cannot drive). To me that is hoarding. If you buy lots of things with no purpose other than to buy lots of things isn’t that sort of hoarding? She lives in SLC and often says she has to do this because she might get snowed in. She has lived there for 40 years and never been snowed in. If she would concentrate on storeable foods and water etc I probably wouldn’t have a problem but to buy 16 cases of pizza or 11 boxes of barbequed ribs (heat and eat) when you don’t have room in the freezer is a waste to me. I would rather be a hoarder with storable foods than a hoarder with a trash can full of rotten meat or pizza and a room full of unopened Home Shopping Channel junk. LOL! To each his/her own I guess.
Kellene Bishop · April 21, 2012 at 4:44 am
It’s kind of odd to me that she believes in “preparing” for the possibility of being snowed in, but not the other naturally related considerations. Hmmm…
Jackie · April 20, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Kellene,
Each day I come to this site, you always inspire me. I have had people say that to me. At first I did not have a response. Then my response was, well, if you come, you better bring all you can. Cause if you come empty handed, work you will and I mean like in prision. I work each and every day right now to prepare my home. I am constantly thinking of new things I need to do, get rid of or stock up on. I also tell those that say that to me. Better yet, you can come to my house now and I will teach you what to do. But, if you don’t prepare, I can not help you later. I get frustrated at people who tell me I “worry” to much. To them I say, you are not worried enough. I always remind them of Katrina. We have family members who, to my much dislike, take advantage of the system as it is in place now. That boils my blood. I dislike “lazy” like there is no other dislike. I would even venture to say I HATE,LAZY. I have NEVER BEEN Nor WILL I BE, LAZY. If you come here and think Lazy it gonna get you by. It will get you somewhere, but not where you think. My husband and I work hard for all we have. We worked hard to have next to no debt and I have sacraficed so much to learn how to live with next to no debt. I don’t get my nails done, hair done and buy all kinds of desinger stuff. I use to, but then I got myself in trouble debt wise and it just is not worth it. What we have, we have paid for and owe nothing on. Now some people snub us, because we are not upside down in things. But, to them I say, “hey, we chose to not have gadgets and expensive things, because we have 3 kids”. We choose not to buy something until we could afford to. We may not have our retirement set aside like the norm has in a 401K. But, Shoot, I have lost more in those than I ever have gained from them. So, excuse me while I prepare a dfferent way. My family knows they can count on us to help them to a Point. To a point that it does not take from what our family needs. If we have extra we give it in way of food. I will not give those who choose to not do what they are capible of money. I will give them tools to learn how to do something for themselves. It is what I was given. So to those who say, they will come to my house. I say , better yet, come over on Saturday and I will teach you how to do this. How easy it is to do this for yourself. It those still choose not to help themselves, well, then they will wonder until they find their way. Just like I did until I opened my heart and mind to what was nagging in my gutt for so long. When you ignore your insticts, you ignore wisdom given to you by a force much stronger than anyone can explain. Thank you Kellene, thank you for your inspiration!
Kellene Bishop · April 21, 2012 at 4:36 am
Well said!
Deborah · April 20, 2012 at 4:55 pm
I have started prepping a couple months ago. Its weird all the thoughts that go on inside your head when you become a prepper. I try to think of all the little things we might need and also the big things. I also wonder what I would do if family and friends came to me for help when some major thing happens. There is no way possible to be able to provide for all the people we love and care about. I talked with my son a few days ago that it might be a good idea for them to start prepping. He lives on the west coast and we the east. As much as I would want to help them if that time comes, its just not possible. I have a 9 yr old granddaughter and the thought they might not be able to feed and protect her scares me. But all I can do is tell them to start. I can’t make them do it. I talked with my neighbor about the two of our families working together so we would all be prepared in the event SHTF. All he could focus on was that he had several guns and tons of bullets. If need be he could go out and hunt for food. I asked what would he do if he could find nothing? He says he would never have trouble finding food. Of course he said that also during the last deer season and never got one deer. I told him maybe they could figure out how to eat all those bullets when he could not find food to shoot to keep his family fed. So far, nobody I have talked with seems to take things seriously enough to start prepping. I have reminded people that you can read the paper, read on the computer or watch the news about all the crisis that are going on in the world right this moment. All that could just as easlily happen right here in the US. Its just amazes me the number of people that think things as that can never happen here in the US. I guess they have forgotten 9/11, the deadly earthquakes, snow storms, and killer storms that have wrecked our country. I just do not know how so many people can still act so ignorant.
I have finally decided to just keep my mouth shut and just continue with my own prepping. If someone should ask me a question then I will answer but I will no longer give advice to people that are foolish enough to think nothing is going to happen and if it does our government will be there to take care of them. Such stupid people. And I also have had a couple people mention they will come to my house if things go south. I just smiled and told them “Sorry, but no. That will not happen. The best thing they can do is start prepping”. They still laugh and think I am kidding. I guess when they are on my front porch and I tell them to go away they will finally believe me.
Kellene Bishop · April 21, 2012 at 4:42 am
“He says he would never have trouble finding food. Of course he said that also during the last deer season and never got one deer”–PRICELESS comment! it literally made me laugh out loud. –mental note, don’t read Deb’s comments when you’re trying to lull baby nephew to sleep. You’ll end up starting all over again.
Bridget · April 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Personally I don’t ‘advertise’ the fact that I’m building up the pantry. People know I shop ads and with coupons (to save money ) but not about the wheat and rice and… That’s my number one line defense against these comments.
My number two is: The ant didn’t invite the grasshopper in.
I’ll show people how I do what I do but most would just rather forget the past and blame others for their future suffering.
autumnesf · April 20, 2012 at 7:06 pm
I read somewhere (maybe here?) the response: That’s like telling me when your money runs out you are taking my bank account. That has stuck with me and I have used that response (in hypothetical discussions after watching things like doomsday preppers or whatever.).That really seems to get peoples attention and make them think. And its not a threat – its an observation so it doesn’t feel like I’ve just verbally attacked someone.
But this would be my biggest fear — hubs family actually pulling this and feeling entitled. I am not a welfare state and I don’t like being viewed as one. We aren’t talking about charity here, we are talking about people that believe they are entitled to whatever they want.
Kellene Bishop · April 21, 2012 at 4:32 am
yeah, the one thing I’ve learned I can’t rely on is for people to become BETTER versions of themselves when things get tough. I know it will be the greatest trial of any challenge.
SGT Lori · April 20, 2012 at 7:37 pm
I have a friend that is building a “City of Refuge” . She has selectively invited people based on skills; doctors, farmers, military etc. my husband is a chiropractor and I am a Soldier so we are “invited” (we have our own preps though); HOWEVER, they have invited elderly people to come because as the wife says “We need people who can help look over the little ones and they offer a world of wisdom”.
Jim Davis · April 21, 2012 at 3:49 am
I recently had a few co-workers say they felt justified in stealing my food storage if it meant feeding their children. I don’t use the ‘F’ word (out loud anyway) but they heard my wrath. I’m all about helping in any way I can but that attitude makes me upset. I prepare. I sacrifice. I do these things motivated from a love for my family. These co-workers (“friends”) aren’t right in thinking that their lack of preparation justifies the hypothetical murder of my family.
That being said, I pray, if desperate times do come, that I will be able to offer relief to as many as I can. With what measure we mete, it will be measured to us again. Maybe the time will come that, despite all of our preparations, we will still have to rely on the mercies of others. I hope we can all show what mercy/love/generosity that we can whenever we can. A crisis doesn’t negate our obligation to clothe the naked and feed the hungry.
Also, maybe there was a time in our lives when we weren’t prepared or ‘awake’. Should the musical chairs have found us wanting then, wouldn’t we have felt desperate for kindness?
Suzie Q · April 22, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I would be tempted to say to those potential murders that the only way they would get into my pantry is as a “canned good”. LOL
Andrea · April 21, 2012 at 5:13 am
I feel the same way inside, when people say this to me. It makes me cringe because of the prepper mindset that we live in almost 24/7, we know what happens when society breaks down and people get desperate. We’ve seen all the movies, read all the books, studied historical case studies. We run through ‘what if’ scenarios constantly. ( I know exactly how many miles I am from home at any given moment, and how long it would take me to hoof it home if necessary) But for the most part, I have given these people the benefit of the doubt and choose to believe that they are really just trying to say, ” Wow, I’m so impressed with your level of preparedness, wouldn’t it be great if we had this too.” It’s similar to if they would have said, “Gosh your living room decor is fantastic, I’d love to have this room.” I’lI then try to educate them into a desire to have that for themselves. There are those who threaten to take by force and that is a different category of people. That statement from them will change the way they are interacted with (or not) in the future.
Heather · April 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm
I think one of the biggest things that non-preppers have a hard time grasping is the sacrifices involved in prepping. You sacrifice the extra money spent – no matter how thrifty your preps are. You sacrifice storage space. You sacrifice time. A grocery trip takes a lot longer when the end of it involves dating every box and can and rotating the stock when putting it away. It takes time to keep the inventory up to date. It takes time to research on the internet (non-electric ways of continuing every day chores, first aid instructions, sanitation alternatives, etc.). It takes time to load the dehydrator or to can. Why are we willing to make these sacrifices? To protect our families, and for those further down the prepping road, additional loved ones as well. The non-prepper doesn’t see how much of an insult it is to casually claim they will ‘come to our house’. Unless you are prepping for your own family, you just don’t understand how much is involved in well thought out prepping.
Kellene Bishop · April 21, 2012 at 5:35 pm
I completely agree with that. Thanks!
Donnella · April 21, 2012 at 8:54 pm
So many good thoughts here. Since reading the initial article two days ago, I’ve given this some serious thought. Most who would make this comment to us are concerned with the breakdown of society and they feel vulnerable living in the city while we live on rural acreage where they will feel safer. Even with those family members whom I love and would never turn away, wouldn’t we all be better off if they were prepared? Like Noah who preached to his neighbors 120 years, they just seem to be in denial. In light of this article, I think I may have an idea that will reach them:
My response will be, “That’s great – we’re likely to need all the help we can get! Expect an email from me later today outlining what you should bring and why.”
By the time they finish reading my email they will realize that staying here will not be like the usual visit:
– The septic isn’t equipped to handle large numbers of people so they will have to be using a shovel.
– There’s 4200 feet of heavily wooded perimeter fence to patrol if society breaks down and they will need snake boots and willingness to be out among coyotes and bobcats in the dark, regardless of the weather.
– No pets, period.
– No extra people (roommates, do-workers, etc)
– They are an hour or more away if they can drive and there are no traffic problems. They need to have a bug-out bag, some good shoes and a plan for mom, dad, & all kids to meet somewhere.
– In the event it isn’t safe to leave, they need enough food, water, sanitation, etc. to last at least a few weeks.
I’ll share my letter when completed, but this should get them thinking about getting started with some basic preparations.
Katherin Keegan · April 21, 2012 at 9:04 pm
30 years ago I predicted that the day would come when there would be more cars than buyers. I am not a genius but I do have a better then average dose of common sense (eval. based on people I have met/known). I started watching ‘Doomsday Prepper’ out of curiosity and I became aware that like most Californians I am not prepared for a large earthquake let alone any other disasters. When I started investigating the different sources on prepping and how many people are concerned about this country’s political future, I started prepping. Unfortunately my husband acknowledges that trouble is coming but doesn’t want to give up any ‘perks/extras’ to prepare. My mother has some supplies and is willing to work with me to prep. I have tried to engage others in the topic of prepping but have only found one other who has some interest in it. Everyone else is of the opinion when the big quake comes we’ll all die and therefore don’t need to prep. We live less than a 1/2 mile from the Hayward fault line. The last big quake on this line was over 100 yrs ago. It is said we are overdue. Of course they have been predicting the ‘big one’ for the last 30yrs.
I also have the disadvantage of not having a quake-proof storage area or $ to do a descent job but I plan to continue anyway. As they say every little bit helps. Thanks for providing a space for me to connect to others. Sorry if this sounds a little ‘down’ but it is hard to do something with no one backing you. I also want to thank you and everyone else for sharing your knowledge.
Suzie Q · April 22, 2012 at 2:50 pm
You don’t need a quake proof storage area to survive. You can buy 5 gal buckets with lids now at any store carrying hardware. Pack them with non-perishables, medical supplies, and survival books, articles. Vacuum seal anything that would be destroyed in case water got inside. Seal the lid with silicone caulk and bury. This is called a cache. The indians did this regularly, only they dug holes in banks or hills, lined them with straw, put food in and covered it with the dirt, to be dug up later when needed.
Mona Davis · April 21, 2012 at 11:11 pm
Thanks this is a awesome writing straight to the point
casey bowen · April 22, 2012 at 2:09 am
http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/43.47?lang=eng
47 And again, the Lord has said that: Ye shall defend your families even unto bloodshed.
Buzz · April 22, 2012 at 2:09 am
Hi Kellene,
I enjoyed your Prepper episode and my wife has purchased some of you DVD’s on wheat and cheese. Even though we have been Preppers for two years, we still learned a lot from watching your videos. Who knew you could put up real cheese?! Your tip on Shirley J’s website was great but expensive. My wife spent over $500 there! Because we have been preparing for so long, we realized about a year ago that if an economic collapse happens, as portrayed in the book Patriots, by J. R. Rawles, we would be sitting ducks for what he describes as The Golden Horde (masses of people going door to door demanding food at gunpoint.) Our house was literally stuffed with food, but the house was not defendable against an armed attack. My wife started researching underground homes, but although they were great for “green” appeal, they were not defendable. I know this because I spend 21 years in the military and I could see the flaws in each and every underground home she looked at. So one day out of desperation, she Googled Survival Bunkers. That set her on track to finding our safe haven which we are in at this very minute. My wife found the web site called Deep Earth Bunkers and she researched all other bunker types she could find, but nothing compared to the quality of Deep Earth. This was before the show came out on Discovery Channel (Doomsday Bunkers.) We agreed to a 3 bunker purchase allowing one bunker for only food storage. Two of the bunkers are for living and we have our own private bedroom as does our son and his wife. We do have six bunks which we ended up using for food storage also. We, too, have had people say to us, “We’ll just go to your place!” My response is, “Here is a paper with all requirements to enter our bunkers, which includes food, guns bullets and medical supplies. You will also be expected to shoot and kill any and all who try to breach our defenses. This paper is only for you and anyone else you bring with you, you will have to double the amounts on the list.” The people usually walk away with a glazed look on their face.
I am so passionate about these bunkers that my son and I are now the Texas reps for Deep Earth Bunker. We are trying to get as many who can afford it into a safe haven such as ours. Keep up the passion for Prepping that you have as it’s contagious. We hope more people catch the passion.
Texas Bunker Man
Kellene Bishop · April 22, 2012 at 5:23 am
I love the way you guys think–so all encompassing. That’s real preparedness.
In the future, you may want to get your Shirley J stuff from FiveStarPreparedness.com They’ve got better prices than at the Shirley J home site. 🙂 oops. If it makes you feel good, you spent a LOT less on the Shirley J stuff than you would have for comparable product and without the shelf-life. 🙂
Apocalyptus Rex · April 22, 2012 at 8:10 am
I suspect that most people that foolishly utter those five ugly words are implying that they want to sponge off of the well prepared, like a worthless son in law. Most of these people aren’t smart enough to realize that their ignorant comments would be interpreted as a threat.
FancyFaye · April 22, 2012 at 12:48 pm
I have 5 answers to that statement:
1. Don’t bother coming to my house, I am leaving and taking my food storage with me.
2. I have only stored enough for my family, and right now I am not adopting anyone.
3. Oh! Don’t wait that long. Come now, and I will teach you what you need to do so other people will say that to you.
4. Actually, you are a bit late the disaster happened 100 years ago when they started selling white flour and white sugar and putting chlorine in the water.
5. Bring some water. I don’t care if it looks like chocolate milk. We have filters. I will be serving barley water. (Gordon B. Hinckley) said, “It may not taste good, but it will keep you alive. Oh! you don’t like barley water, well refer back to one of the other responses.”
Kellene Bishop · April 22, 2012 at 9:42 pm
I like #3 and very much LOVE #4.
Suzie Q · April 22, 2012 at 1:10 pm
I an wrestling with my feelings right now with my sister and her family (3). Their idea of prepping is coming to my house (empty handed). In the mean time, they spend money giving their son anything he wants (don’t get me wrong, I love them and he is a good kid), traveling where they want, and building what they want. But they never have the money to prepare. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I want my family to survive and couldn’t turn them away even if I wanted to. On the other hand, I resent the fact that I have to prepare for 3 more besides me and I’m retired and on a fixed income. (I’m 64 and she and her husband 50 with a 16 year old son). She agrees she needs to prepare, but she “can’t afford it”. (no, I couldn’t afford it either if I was spending money on my kid hand over fist to give him everything he wants, or building an enclosed swimming pool, or taking trips to Africa and the like, duuuuuuh!). I’ve been preparing since 1998 and she hasn’t even started. I have asked her to at least have her talented handyman husband build her one 8’x8’x2′ storage rack in their insulated pole building and they won’t do that. They are definiately spiritually prepared though; their answer to any future crises is, “I’m depending on God to take care of things” (they go to church 2-3 times a week). I don’t know how to respond to this.
Kellene Bishop · April 22, 2012 at 9:39 pm
I’m sorry that you’re struggling with this. I do know it’s tough to worry and fret over those you love. When it comes to prepping, since it’s about preparing for the worst and hoping for the best, I indeed believe in “tough love”. Those things which you hold your tongue on may seem less “unthinkable to say” if you peacefully contemplate how to share those valid thoughts and concerns and of course share it with the willingness to help them learn too, I think you’ll find that it was a good choice to make. After all, it is a matter of life and death.
I am a bit concerned with your belief that you believe that they are spiritually prepared. The scripture comes to mind “By their fruits ye shall know them.” Based on what you’ve shared here, they simply do not appear to be spiritually prepared at this point. If they were Spiritually prepared, then the subsequent Principles of Preparedness would naturally be pursued. It’s not a negative judgment on them to say this, rather it’s a matter of logical, rational thought. It’s exactly why all of the other Principles of Preparedness revolve around and are subsequent priorities to Spiritual Preparedness. If that area is missing, then preparedness at any other level will not follow. So, perhaps you could be more successful in having a conversation with them on the spiritual level of dialogue. Clearly there’s a reason why you’ve said that you felt they were spiritually prepared. You obviously admire some facets of their character in order to be friends with them in addition to being family. So perhaps some quiet contemplation can lead you to the wisdom you need to communicate with them on the importance of making some life changes and to start at that first Principle of Preparedness.
Becky · April 22, 2012 at 10:22 pm
Amazing that “Freddy the Freeloader” believes we were put here for their convinence. My older siblings believe I will take care of them, I told them to prepare for any emergencies that might arise. Do not think it will go away in a few hours, they think I am nuts.
I thought we were prepared when a wildfire in 2004 took everything we had. It taught me, “we thought we were prepared”, now we are learning from that loss what can, and will happen when you least expect it.
lisa · April 23, 2012 at 1:28 am
reply, what part of no dont u understand ? or i dont f——- think so or i have a bullet with ur name on it
Apocalyptus Rex · April 23, 2012 at 7:47 am
My smartly dressed entourage is prepared to repel boarders 🙂
Sharlene · April 23, 2012 at 7:11 pm
You can always store extra buckets of wheat to hand out. If the unprepared can figure how to eat the wheat and they survive the dehydration caused by the diarrhea they are going to get, they might decide they don’t want what you have to offer.
James · April 25, 2012 at 12:03 am
Sometimes, the Spirit says to cut off Laban’s head — so others won’t perish!!
(And Laban had already shown that he was a thief!!!)
Marge Horne · April 25, 2012 at 1:41 am
Many, many years ago when everyone was worried about nuclear bombs, I met a young couple who had lived in Germany during World War II. They had prepared a bomb shelter in their back yard and stocked it with food, water, etc. I have never forgotten something the young father said: “If you have ever had to live on boiled grass, you would know why we are doing this.” He further said he would have no compunction about shooting someone in the defense of his family and the preparations they had made. “I’m not getting any more notice than they are.” What a husband, father, and man!!
Kathleen · April 26, 2012 at 12:05 pm
I agree completely!our family is constantly asking us for money but seems unwilling to help themselves in varied ways.While some are disabled,they spend,spend,spend on junk or allow others to use them.We prep what we can,still save for the future,but are constantly asked for money.Finite resources is a concept most living on credit cards don’t understand.We are more than willing to love,teach,help in small ways but not subsidize reckless lifestyles.Love your comebacks for someone saying that.
jessica lynch · April 27, 2012 at 10:25 pm
I have a friend who has said several times she is coming to my house. I have spent my time and money prepping for myself and family. I will not allow someone to come to take what use what i have and take away from my children. We need to be responsible for ourselves.
Susan · July 8, 2012 at 3:20 am
Thank you so much for writing this very helpful article. Just today I was struggling with this issue and then found your site tonight through SHTFP. I am a senior citizen and the youngest in my elderly senior citizen apartment complex. My apartment is 532 sq. ft. and I have very little storage space, but I am doing what I can. I have tried leading my closest neighbors to think of preparedness but one cuts me off and the other doesn’t seem to get it. They are both in their late 80’s, maybe that’s why. They do not find prepping necessary. I can’t save the world and I’m doing well to take care of myself and the dog and cat on just $718 a month. I’m saving your article and will read it until it gets embedded in my brain. Thanks again.
Lil ol me · October 16, 2012 at 4:30 am
I heard those comments today, “I’m coming to your house.” I laughed and replied, “Sure, if you can get past the booby traps and firearms.” She said, “Wow, I thought we were friends, ” I giggled and said, “Well, if there is a national disaster that big, I don’t have any friends, Ha Ha.” She was joking with she made the coming to your house comment and I tried answer in a joking way.
It seems everyone thinks I’m a prepper simply because I live on a farm and LOVE gardening. I’m pretty prepared but it has always been a way of life. My grandparents and parents only went to town twice a month.
Lindsey · October 25, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Well put.
I too am preparing for more than just my own immediate family. We have made the decision that if it comes to those extra people (mostly our neighbors, that I have been teaching preparedness principles to) asking for help that we will put the Lord’s welfare program to use and those people will be working (gardening, helping set up animal traps, maintaining defenses etc) for the food and help we give them.
Stephanie · October 25, 2012 at 2:01 pm
I agree, I have heard those words many times and I just respond with, ” No your not, I am blowing up the bridge across the road, hahahahahah” . People just don’t think before they say things. In the last 18 months I have taken my prepping to the point of prepping my body as well as my pantry. I want to be healthy, in shape, and my weight appropriate. I do not want to be a burden or a liability to my family by not being able to keep up. If my family has to slow down for me because I am too out of shape or over weight I may put them at risk. It is my current and continuing prep.
Kellene Bishop · October 25, 2012 at 7:06 pm
I think the EXACT same way about working on the Physical Preparedness. What you wrote is almost verbatim of my “self-talk”. Keep up the good work!
Lisa · January 25, 2013 at 2:09 am
I have this vision in my head that all my preps will be taken and redistributed under martial law. First our guns, then our food and water. It won’t be thugs stealing it, it will be Obama’s militia. I’m serious, what then?
Laura · January 25, 2013 at 3:03 am
Hey Kellene, I totally agree, but I struggle with the verse, “He who would save his life shall lose it but he who would lay down his life shall find it.” What do you make of this verse and do you think it provides direction for preppers?
Kellene Bishop · January 25, 2013 at 5:17 am
No one has the right to forcibly take something from someone else. There’s no such thing as forced charity. Furthermore, there is a specific application of this scripture. No where does the Lord tell us we should just lie down and be victims, in fact, we’re told that we MUST protect those for whom we have stewardship. In a time of crisis, essentials are critical to a person’s family and that’s their first priority. Giving to someone else may very well ensure death of someone for whom you have stewardship. The parable of Noah, the parable of the 10 virgins all speak to this extent. It’s one thing to give YOUR life, but you have no right or authority to sacrifice the life of those who have been entrusted to take care of by the Lord and that’s likely if you aren’t wise with our possessions. Coming to your house and expecting care when one didn’t take care for themselves is no different than looting, IMO.
I stock plenty so that I CAN help others, but I will not do so by force, nor will I do so FREEly. If someone’s coming to my house that didn’t bother to prepare, I hope they enjoy digging and cleaning the outhouse.
Kellene Bishop · January 25, 2013 at 5:21 am
Thugs and Obama’s militia?? What’s the difference? I don’t negotiate with terrorists no matter what their last name is. Period. If something like you describe were to happen, then I suspect that I won’t live to see it. We’ve been commanded to prepare and we’ve been commanded to protect and provide for our family. Someone tries to infringe upon that in my house, then I will go to extreme lengths to comply with God’s commandments before a political imbecile. If God commands, then He provides a way to keep His commandments. This is where the Spiritual preparedness really comes in handy. It’s O.K. to have fear, but it’s not O.K. to let it make any decisions contrary to what the Lord has asked of us. Just my two cents.
Karen Fredlund · January 25, 2013 at 3:45 pm
I think you are preaching to the choir here . Unfortunately the real culprits will never read this blog .
Kellene Bishop · January 25, 2013 at 7:53 pm
If you only knew how many readers ask me “what to do when someone says this” you’d know that I most definitely am not preaching to the choir.
Linda · January 25, 2013 at 6:14 pm
I have to admit we’ve been prepping for 20 years and we’re never finished. BUT, I have to admit the most difficult thing we’ve ever had to do was get used to having our daughter and her 4 children move in with us. We’ve been able to build a self contained basement apartment for them but it has taken a few years to get it the way we all want. It has caused me many sleepless nights wondering how much more stressfull it might be in MUCH more crowded circumstances if the other 3 girls and their families (17 more bodies) showed up in the future.
Meagan · January 25, 2013 at 6:28 pm
I have this problem with my family, but only 2 of them have actually said they would come to our house (but it would probably be 6 people coming in a group if they actually made the 1 hour drive to our place). I have 15 family members within a 2 hour drive and plan to try to prep for them once I have my 1 year supply in for me, my husband and daughter. After I showed a couple friends my food storage to hopefully get them interested, my husband and I decided not to tell anyone else about it (they pretty much thought we were crazy and paranoid). It will be hard enough to prep for my family. I do try to put my family to work now though working in my yard and getting things built (raised beds, fence, rabbit hutch, etc) so that they are contributing. My husband has laid down the law about the toilet paper though, we may feed family, but the toilet paper is ours. 😉 Unfortunately within those 15 family members are 2 diabetics, 1 HIV positive and an agoraphobic. It causes me great stress thinking about whether I should turn family away rather than take food out of my daughter’s mouth to feed people who may not make it long or be useful anyways. I am so grateful for my ward however, with 3 other homesteading families and a nurse close by the Lord has supplied us with an awesome built-in resource and barter network.
Lisa · January 25, 2013 at 7:54 pm
Kellene, what about the command to “render unto Ceasar…”? I realize that pertained to taxes and I hope that’s all it meant. I’ve often thought that, at my age of 60, I would be willing to go out in a “blaze of glory” to protect my home. I’ve never served in the armed forces but I’m right there with the Oath Keepers and I hope if push comes to shove I have the balls to stand my ground. My husband commented that Obama’s militia will not be made up of Americans but rather foreigners and illegals who owe him. We are prepping daily, just a little bit at a time. Better than nothing but I feel so inadequate at times.
Kellene Bishop · January 25, 2013 at 9:39 pm
I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the question. Regardless, bottom line is that I will prepare to my utmost and let God take care of the details. There is to be a temple built in Jerusalem on top of a sacred spot that will “never” be turned over for proper ownership let alone for construction. That’s God’s problem, not mine. And that’s how I look at preparedness. I will NEVER allow the “fear of what if” determine my actions today especially when those fears involve something so temporary as this life.
marialewis · June 11, 2013 at 8:28 pm
My kids and the parents are the only ones that I will let come stay with me if there is every an issue that my preparedness will need to be used. I might also let my fiances family come into. These are the only ones in the family that have not made fun of what I am doing. My fiances parents and sister asked me why I was stocking up and I explained that I wanted to make sure that my three kids and their family if need be could come to my home and we would be safe and have enough for several months, and they said that sounded responsible. My sister and my fiances brother told me that I was crazy and there was no need to prepare. My money is they will be one of the firsts to try and come to my door.
Julie · June 12, 2013 at 12:21 am
“Make sure to wear your body armour,” said with a smirk.
Pam · September 23, 2013 at 8:55 am
Kellene, You hit the nail on
Kellene, You hit the nail on the head. I am disabled and receive no SSD as of yet, but I have been preparing for years in one form or another to protect and provide for me and my family and no one is going to come in and take what I have worked so hard in getting.
I have all of the materials to build a rabbit hutch and a chicken coop this fall when the temps get to where I can handle being outside and I have a neighbor who is going to sell me some chickens.
I also see all of these people in the city saying that when the SHTF they are going to the country orto the mountains, well unless they have already made plans to go to a certain place and purchased the land I am sure that they will be met with a great surprise. Most people don’t have the skills to live off of the land if they had to and most wouldn’t last a week.
I may be disabled and limited on the amount of physical labor that I can do, but the knowledge that I possess makes me a valuable asset to my family and I add to that knowledge on a daily basis and I plan to pass it along to my family hopefully for generations to come just like my grandmother and parents did to me.
Nada · September 23, 2013 at 12:51 pm
That reminds me so much of
That reminds me so much of the way people respond when you have a new baby. You spend nine (ten!) months dealing with morning sickness, backaches, heartburn, and the constant fear that “something might be wrong” — and once the baby comes, every single association you’ve ever had pops up out of the woodwork, cooes over your adorable child and says, “Okay, I’m gonna take him home now!”
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! No! You didn’t go through 14 hours of back labor. You didn’t sacrifice weeks of sleep to bring him into the world. You didn’t give up your sense of style to wear uncomfortable maternity clothes — I DID! He’s mine and you can’t have him! My husband and I had to lay down the law with both our parents because they were constantly asking to take our brand new infant for overnight visits — um… we’re breastfeeding. Unless you can do that, then no.
I’m just a beginner to the whole homesteader/self-sufficiency/prepper lifestyle, but I can see myself exploding when I start hearing these comments. If I don’t plan for you to be there, you’re not going to be there. Get over it.
Kelly · September 23, 2013 at 1:20 pm
I have said this remark in
I have said this remark in jest and had it said to me in jest. I am one of those middle of the road preppers, I do the best I can, but am in no way ready when things go down. When I myself have made this comment it was truly in the spirit of admiration for the person who is so prepared, which is also the way I took it when it was said to me. Maybe some of these people are trying to show their respect in an offhand weird sense of humor type of way, like I have. That being said I love your posts and you have helped me prepare in many ways. I honestly still do not understand most of what I need to do but I am trying. I find that people getting so upset, very sad to my heart. Even though I barely have enough to keep my family of 5 alive for 3 months, I would share with those who come to my tiny apt with no intent to harm. Because charity is the Lords way and anything contrary to that is Satans. He will/does take care of us in all things. There is a wonderful book called “Visions of Glory” that talks about the last days. I do love you post and help on all things preparedness.
Harry Hydro · September 23, 2013 at 5:16 pm
As I place my hand on my
As I place my hand on my carry weapon, I tell them, “You are under arrest for aggravated assault. Put your hands on your head, kneel on the floor while I call the sheriff.”
nancy · September 23, 2013 at 10:15 pm
Great…come on down. My plan
Great…come on down. My plan is to have a bunch of graves in front yard with signs that say ‘here lies those that THOUGHT they would come to my house because they didn’t prepare’
Dana · September 24, 2013 at 6:31 am
I am a closet prepper. As in,
I am a closet prepper. As in, no one knows how much this stuff gets me excited! BUT, I still don’t do a whole lot to prepare. I have BARELY started and been following your links for at least a year but I would NEVER, EVER consider mooching. It is my responsibility, single mom, poor and all. With what I have now, we wouldn’t last long. I know better and SHOULD be doing more; I simply am not. I am a procrastinator, prefer instant gratification over waiting (eating at a restaurant vs putting it into food storage) and I have to answer for that. [hopefully I’ll get my head out of you-know-where before a dire situation.] Anyways, my two cents of honesty. (Geez, it really hurt to write this.)
Xiao Ludlow · December 14, 2013 at 6:13 pm
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Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article plus the rest of the website is extremely good.
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