85 Telltale Signs That You Might Be a Prepper

I decided that it was time for me to share with you my original list of 85 different things that I’ve come up with over the years that just might be a dead giveaway that you’re a prepper. 

If you find that you can nod your head to even 10 of these, it’s time to give up the fight, give in, and join in the cause with the rest of us crazy preppers. Some of these are just crazy, and some you’ll find to be painfully true. But I betcha that you might be wrong if you were to guess which ones were made up and which ones were actually TRUE. However, I shall refrain from outting the appropriate crazy prepper here and there and instead allow them to maintain their secrecy with dignity. *grin*

I hope you enjoy these–yes, ALL 85 of them!  Perhaps you’ve seen a list or two similar to this, but you’ve never seen a list as massive as this! Yep, it’s GO BIG OR GO HOME in our house. *grin*
Get ready for the most massive list (but by no means all inclusive) of the 85 TellTale Signs That You Might Be a Prepper… I welcome you to share this with anyone you’d care to, but please do so by sharing the LINK. Thank you in advance!

85 TellTale Signs That You Might Be a Prepper… (wear it PROUD!)

1. You pray that there will be a LifeStraw in the box of Cracker Jacks.                                                                        

2. You have more than 4 non-electric can openers.

3. You ask your realtor to find you a house that’s out of the path of nuclear fallout.

4. You own wheat that’s older than any of your children.

5. You own a case of Marlboro and Jack Daniels even though you don’t drink or smoke.

6. Your dream home is a house made out of shipping containers.

7. You need a moving truck to haul all of your groceries.

8. Your idea of game night with the family is racing to see who can get their hazmat suit on the fastest.

9. Your wife wants an All-American Pressure Cooker as her Silver Anniversary Gift.

10. You’ve considered standing on a street corner with a sign that says “Will Work for Dryer Lint”.

11. You own the book “100 Ways to Cook Ramen Noodles”.

12. You bought an Old English Sheep Dog because you believe you can crochet sweaters out of his fur.

13. You’ve wondered if there are any viable uses for belly button lint.

14. You take more home from the county dump than you leave.

15. You think watching “Doomsday Preppers” is window shopping.

16. Costco calls YOU when they’ve run out of TP.

17. You’ve ever taste-tested the dog and cat food “just in case.”

18. You’ve learned to crochet bandages.

19. You buy duct tape by the case.

20. You own more body armor than dress shirts.

21. You have a different alias for every Prepper Site you visit.

22. You refuse to purchase any food that expires prior to 2020.

23. You refuse to go out to dinner because “that can buy an entire box of ammo!”

24. Your dogs all have their own bug out bag.

25. You see a “72 Hour Kit” and laugh in scorn while thinking to yourself, “Amateurs!”

26. Your motto is “there’s nothing I can’t can!”

27. You actually get excited when rough weather comes your way.

28. Costco, Sam’s Club, and Zaycon Foods all name you Customer of the Year!

29. You fantasize about getting your paycheck cashed in all pre-1964 dimes and quarters.

30. You view dandelions as food!                

31. Your monthly prepping supplies budget exceeds all of your other bills.

32. You’re jealous of the guy who owns an old underground military bunker.

33. You’ve enrolled all the kids in Krav Maga as soon as they can walk.

34. Your 8 year-old asks for a lock-pick set for Christmas and you happily comply.

35. You know what a Diva Cup is.

36. You store lemon juice and SOS pads with your other weapons.

37. You’ve deliberately created squeaky floor boards in your home for self-defense purposes.

38. You view dead appliances as possible Faraday Cages to bury in the back yard.

39. You consider weevils “extra protein.”

40. Your family vacations are limited only to those states where you can legally carry concealed.

41. Your child’s first word was “OPSEC.

42. You own more grains than a small country.

43. You refuse to live in St. Louis, MO because of the “New Madrid fault line”.

44. You actually know what the New Madrid fault line is!

45. Michael Faraday is one of your heroes.

46. You won’t attend your sister’s wedding until you’ve checked all of the exits.

47. You consider a blow gun and throwing knives as back-up weapons.

48. Your idea of romance is two-way radios.

49. Your child declares “3 is 2; 2 is 1; and 1 is none” as her favorite nursery rhyme.

50. You have water barrels discretely serving as end tables.

51. You make the kids double up in a bedroom in order to make room for a pantry.

52. Your weekly exercise workouts include stomach crawls, grappling, and running up mountain trails.

53. You can’t resist taking home all of the samples you find in your hotel/motel stays.

54. You’ve talked “baby talk” to your favorite firearm.

55. Your kids name the new pet rabbit Fricassee.

56. You find yourself experiencing Pantry Envy.

57. You use paracord for shoestrings

58. You frequently speak in acronyms such as TEOTWAWKI, BOB, and OPSEC.

59. Your first instinct is to run TOWARDS the explosion.

60. You’re an atheist that’s known on a first name basis at the local LDS Cannery.

61. You critique “end of world” types of movies for tactical errors.

62. You purchase baby diapers in camouflage print.

63. You consider Sodium Iodate as a necessary apocalyptic nutrient.

64. Your stock portfolio is made up entirely of fish antibiotics, canning jars, plastic sheeting, firearms, and ammo companies.

65. You view 5 inch stiletto heels as a back-up weapon.

66. Your Christmas stockings are three layer, water-proof, Merino wool.

67. You secretly wish for an EMP event.

68. You carry-concealed underneath your bathrobe.

69. You have to clear the reloading machine off the table before dinner each night.

70. You have 12 storage buckets full of all those samples you took from your hotel/motel stays.

71. You’ve ever had a #10 can of food fall on your head.

72. Your friends give you their empty soda pop bottles.    

73. You use HandWarmers as oxygen absorbers for your 50 gallon buckets of food.

74. Your 5 year-old daughter won’t let you in the door without the secret password.

75. You have industrial grade fire extinguishers in every room of your home.

76. Your favorite perfume is Eau d’WD-40.

77. You beg your neighbors for their expired cooking oil.

78. You can make a cheese soufflé in a solar oven using only canned goods.

79. You refuse to travel too far from home “just in case.”

80. It feels like a crisis when you only have one case of TP left.

81. You’ll never be satisfied with enough sleeping bags or blankets.

82. You take side jobs to pay for your prepping habit.

83. You buy 2 gallons of vinegar every time you go to Costco.

84. You know how to make bread, vegetables and protein from your wheat.

85. You think there are only two kinds of people in the world—those who prep and those who don’t.