When Nature Calls in a Crisis: A Survival Guide to Human Waste Management

Let’s face it: when society breaks down, we’re all in deep… well, you know. I know it can seem daunting.  But don’t worry. This article will help you handle your business when traditional plumbing decides to clock out. Because in a world gone mad, the last thing you want is to turn your living area into a biohazard zone. So, hold your nose, we’re going in!

Understanding the Risks (It’s a Crappy Situation)

Untreated human waste can spread diseases faster than rumors in a high school. We’re talking about:

• Cholera (the OG of waterborne diseases)
• Typhoid (not the fun kind of fever)
• Hepatitis A (your liver’s worst enemy)
• Dysentery (Oregon Trail players know this one all too well)

Proper management isn’t just crucial; it’s the difference between surviving the apocalypse and starring in your own personal horror movie.

Emergency Toilet Options (Throne Away From Home)

1. The Bucket Brigade
   • Use a 5-gallon bucket with a toilet seat lid (fancy!)
   • Line with heavy-duty garbage bags (double-bag for the paranoid)
   • Add a layer of sawdust, peat moss, or fine wood shavings after each use (we’re composting, not marinating)
2. The Pit Stop
   • Dig a pit at least 4 feet deep, 100 feet away from water sources
   • Create a simple shelter for privacy (because we’re not animals, for Pete’s sake.)
   • Cover waste with soil after each use (bury the evidence)
3. The Composting Throne
   • Separates liquid and solid waste (yellow and brown, if you will)
   • Uses carbon-rich materials to aid decomposition
   • It’s like a science project, but stinkier

Products That Help Break Down Waste (Chemical Cavalry to the Rescue)

Here’s a list of products that can help you tackle the stinky situation:

1. Enzyme Treatments
   • RID-X Septic Tank Treatment
   • Cabin Obsession Septic Tank Treatment
   • Roebic K-37 Liquid Bacteria Septic Tank Treatment
   • How they work: These contain bacteria and enzymes that feast on waste like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet (sorry, I couldn’t resist)
2. Chemical Treatments
   • Walex Porta-Pak Holding Tank Deodorizer
     

     Luggable loo

   • Thetford Aqua-Kem Holding Tank Treatment
   • Camco TST Ultra-Concentrated Orange Citrus Scent RV Toilet Treatment
   • How they work: These use chemicals to break down waste and control odors. Less eco-friendly, but desperate times call for desperate measures
3. Natural Additives
   • Gotta Go Coconut Coir Blocks
   • Peat moss (any brand)
   • Wood ash from your campfire
   • How they work: These absorb liquids and help control odors naturally. Think of them as nature’s air fresheners
4. EM (Effective Microorganisms)
   • TeraGanix EM-1 Microbial Inoculant
   • SCD Probiotics All Seasons Indoor Composter
   • How they work: These beneficial microorganisms work like tiny janitors, cleaning up the mess

Safe Disposal Methods

1. The Burial
   • Dig a hole at least 12 inches deep, 100 feet from water sources
   • Cover with 6 inches of soil (R.I.P. – Rest In Poo)
   • Mark the area to prevent accidental digging (no one wants that surprise)
2. Long-term Composting
   • Requires a dedicated system separate from regular compost
   • Must reach and maintain high temperatures (131°F/55°C) for extended periods
   • Should be aged for 1-2 years before use (good things come to those who wait)
3. Catholes (for wilderness situations)
   • Dig a hole 6-8 inches deep, 4-6 inches in diameter
   • Cover with soil and natural materials
   • Located at least 200 feet from water sources (think of it as a really inconvenient bathroom)

Hygiene and Safety Precautions (Don’t Be a Doo-Doo Head)

1. Always wash hands thoroughly after handling waste (sing “Happy Birthday” twice while washing)
2. Use gloves when possible (fashion and function!)
3. Keep waste management areas away from living and food preparation spaces (no one wants that kind of seasoning)
4. Regularly clean and disinfect toilet areas (pretend you’re in a cleaning product commercial)

Long-term Considerations (Planning for a Crappy Future)

• Rotate waste disposal areas to prevent soil contamination (musical toilets, anyone?)
• Consider learning about humanure composting for sustainable long-term solutions (it’s not just a hobby, it’s a lifestyle)
• Educate all community members about safe waste management practices (become the poo guru your community needs)

 

Historical Lessons: When Waste Management Goes Wrong

Lest you think we’re making a stink about nothing, here are some grim examples from history where poor waste management/sanitation systems led to disastrous consequences:

1. The Great Stink of London (1858): While not directly causing deaths, this event highlighted the dangers of poor sanitation. The hot summer caused the sewage-filled River Thames to emit an unbearable stench, forcing Parliament to address the city’s sanitation issues. This led to the construction of London’s modern sewer system, dramatically reducing waterborne diseases.
2. Cholera Outbreaks in 19th Century Europe: In 1854, Dr. John Snow traced a London cholera outbreak to a contaminated water pump, proving the link between poor sanitation and disease. This discovery led to major improvements in urban water and waste systems, saving countless lives.
3. Haiti Cholera Outbreak (2010-2019): Following the 2010 earthquake, a cholera epidemic struck Haiti, likely introduced by UN peacekeepers and spread through poor sanitation. It resulted in over 9,000 deaths and nearly 800,000 infections.
4. Plague of Athens (430-426 BC): While the exact disease is debated, poor sanitation during the Peloponnesian War led to an epidemic that killed an estimated 75,000 to 100,000 people, or 25% of the city’s population.
5. The Black Death (1347-1351): While primarily spread by fleas on rats, poor sanitation in medieval cities contributed to the rapid spread of the plague, which killed an estimated 30-60% of Europe’s population.

These examples serve as stark reminders of the importance of proper waste management as it compromises sanitation. In a crisis scenario, your toilet habits might just be the difference between life and death. So remember, folks: handle your business properly, or history might remember you as part of the “Great Stink of 2025”!

Stay safe, stay clean, and may your aim always be true. Ha!