home canned spam
Here’s a recipe and instructions that I wish I had had room to include in my cookbook. It’s delicious and healthier than traditional SPAM. So, if you’ve ever cracked open a can of SPAM and thought, “What exactly is this pinkish miracle, and can I make it myself?” – congratulations, my friend, you’re about to elevate your culinary game from curious consumer to meat magician. Now’s the perfect time, too, since ham and pork shoulder are practically throwing themselves into your cart during the holiday sales. When life gives you cheap pig parts, you don’t ask questions. You grind, season, and DIY.
Grinding the Gears of Deliciousness
First, let’s talk process. You’re going to need a meat grinder, because pulverizing pork by hand is a crossfit workout nobody asked for. Grab:
• 5 pounds of pork shoulder
• 1 pound of prepared ham
Step 1: Run the pork and ham through your grinder twice. That’s not a typo. Once is amateur hour; twice is SPAM territory. This double grind is what gives it that smooth, sliceable texture that somehow reminds us of canned meat’s inexplicable charm.
Seasoning: The Science of SPAM
Now comes the “secret sauce” of SPAM magic. No mysterious lab concoctions here – just ingredients you can pronounce, measured to perfection:
• 2 ½ tablespoons salt (Yes, it’s salty. It’s SPAM.)
• 2 tablespoons sugar (Balance, baby.)
• 6 tablespoons potato starch or cornstarch (This holds it all together like a meat glue, but in the least creepy way.)
• 1 teaspoon curing salt (optional but recommended for that classic pink hue)
• ½ cup water (Just enough to help everything mix and marry.)
Mix these into your freshly ground meat like you’re massaging life into it. No air pockets, no half-hearted stirs. You’re creating meat art here – respect the process.
Jarring the Goodness
Time to embrace your inner canning wizard. Pack the SPAM mixture into wide-mouth pint jars (emphasis on wide-mouth, because you’ll want to extract this meat brick later without reenacting a comedy sketch). Pack it in tightly, pressing out any sneaky air pockets. Think of it as tucking your meat to bed with love – and a firm hand.
Clean the rims with warm water (no rogue meat bits allowed), slap on seals and rings, and prepare for the finale.
The Water Bath Marathon
water bath canning diy spam
SPAM doesn’t rush well in a pressure canner. It simmers in glorious patience. Place those jars into a water bath canner and process for 3 hours. Yes, three hours. That’s roughly two Hallmark movies or a whole lot of pondering life’s big questions, like, “Why didn’t I try this sooner?”
When the timer dings and the jars cool, you’ll be greeted by a SPAM doppelgänger that’s pink, proud, and ready for action.
To Cure or Not to Cure?
Let’s address the curing salt elephant in the room. The curing salt keeps your DIY SPAM looking like its commercial cousin: that oddly nostalgic pink hue. If you skip it, the end result will taste the same, but it’ll look more brownish – like SPAM’s rugged, less flashy cousin who works construction and drives a truck. It’s all about personal preference here.
Ham and pork are on sale this season
How to Eat It? Let Me Count the Ways…
The beauty of homemade SPAM lies in its versatility. Fry it up with eggs, slap it on a sandwich with mustard, cube it into fried rice, or slice it cold and pair it with crackers and cheese for a self-reliant charcuterie board that screams “I made this.” You’ve officially leveled up.
Meat Brick Mic Drop)
There’s something deeply satisfying about transforming humble pork and ham into a shelf-stable, sliceable work of art. It’s self-reliance in its tastiest form – proof that with a little grinding and three hours of patience, you can recreate a classic without the mystery. Plus, you’ll have homemade SPAM bragging rights, which are worth their weight in ham.
So go on, get grinding. Because who needs a can when you’ve got a jar and a dream?
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